thewisesirivanthes posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 10:02pm

Okay that was weird. Even for you two.

BrotherBludgeon posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 9:53pm

I smell a sequel:

From: The Boss Who Lived
To: R'Mione, Director of Research
CC: Agent Luna, Lovegood by name Love VERY good by reputation

Looks like I’m finally starting to get the hang of this inter-office memorandum thing. Hedwig is giving me dirty looks like you wouldn’t believe. Still, I suppose we’ve all had enough time to settle in, we should probably get down to it.

For my ravishing Director of Research, you should be getting a box full of the things I picked up travelling in America. I threw in everything but the winged sneakers (see, most fun I’ve ever had that didn’t involve sex, most fun I’ve ever had that didn’t involve flying on a broom, most fun I’ve ever had that didn’t involve sex whilst flying on a broom, what I’m wearing as I’m writing this… and nothing else). On a related note, you might want to consider that sparking stick of blue light to be your highest priority. You can barely make it out but somebody’s written

"Property of Zeus, King of the Gods
If found, please return to:
Mt. Olympus
350 5th Ave
New York, NY 10018"

on the side.

Now, I didn’t stay in New York for very long, but I could’ve sworn that’s the address of the Empire State Building (see, American landmarks, former tallest buildings, Freudian compensation). Oh, and if some bloke comes by looking for the electric stick… or the winged shoes… or the pen/sword I gave you for your birthday… check to see if there’s a bird named "Annabeth" with him. If she’s there, tell her "Harry says hello and thanks for the Greco-Roman wrestling lessons." She’ll know what I mean. Actually, I think the two of you would get on fairly well. She’s a really brainy type, says she gets it from her mum.

And, for my adorable agent of amazing animal analysis and abduction, I’ve attached a portkey to a little town in Washington you might like. There’s a pack of werewolves there that can change whenever they want, full moon, new moon, morning, noon, dawn, twilight, Guy Fawkes Day, any bloody time they want! Also, they seem to walk around shirtless most of the time, in a state that’s famous for almost year-round cloud cover and rain. See if there’s any correlation before you start collecting specimens.

When you’re through with that, and I think I’ve saved the best for last, I may have discovered a brand new subspecies of vampire. I don’t want to give too much away before you get a chance to study them, but I will say this. As soon as you see one exposed to sunlight, you’ll have the exact same thought I did.

Vampire skin coats.

Love,
-The Boss Who Lived

Phil Coleman posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 8:36pm

I read it, all of it. At this point I'm not sure if I'm more confused or just more stupider for the experience. I think I laughed almost every couple words and may have wet myself somewhere along the way but I think I remember someone yelling "oblite" or something a while back. Hmm,... Oh yes, sorry, the answer is "yellow." Definately yellow...


Thanks... Enjoyed the insanity fits nicely into my delusions.

Peace

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 8:34pm

Potkey accident to Tycho - Great!

Jamey posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 8:26pm

This entry into the wonderful world of CrackFic has proven that not only do you have the greatest skills at writing, but you have the line on the absolute *BEST* dope possible! I have no clue how you're getting access to thionite, but it's obviously some great stuff!

MidnightsSong posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 8:13pm

This is hilarious. Loads of fun to read.

Renzo7 posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 8:11pm

Hilarious! A hoot to read, very entertaining!

Keep up the great work, guys!

P.S. Bring back the Llamas :D

OdinMage posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 8:08pm

This... was epic! lol

I don't normally read or like one-shots, but this was a good read and funny to boot!

Keep writing!

darthloki posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 7:00pm

Hilarious! I love your oddball, dysfunctional, yet strangely efficent DoM. :)

Samantha posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 6:44pm

Hehe well it certainly was different in a good way. Excellent story.

Alex Austin posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 6:12pm

Well, that was really different. Hilarious though. Interesting idea behind it, too.

Richard6154 posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 6:10pm

This was a hoot, thanks for sharing!

Lostinfantry posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 6:08pm

LOVED IT!!!! loved the Star Wars reference. i expected thee to be a C3PO refernce coming after it.

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 6:07pm

<snicker><guffaw><ROTFLMAO!!> Oh, that was hilariously funny (just what I needed, too). <wicked grin> I'm sure Hermione would enjoy working under Harry, save when he's got her against the wall or she's riding him; in any case, Director of Research sound perfect for her. Much the same can be said of Luna and the Directorship for Finding Strange Animals. As to the rest, well, that potion has definitely got to qualify as a hazmat for those inclined to bother Harry.

Bravo!! for a fun story and welcome back. Best wishes that things get better for y'all.

LTyderek posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 6:03pm

I've always enjoyed everything you two have written, but this was by far the funniest one shot i've ever read. I've seen multiple ppl try to pull off what worked so well for jeconais with This Means War (reminds me...been awhile since i reread that, might need to soon) and Arya's (boy i hope i remembered that correctly) Naked Quidditch Match (if i'm wrong, sorry, but if you read enough fanfic, you know what i'm talking about) and not come close, but you two pulled it off with style. Hmmm, how's that for an entry in the 'Most Akward Sentence of the Year Award'....

Anyway, loved it, looking forward to more stories from you both.

Neil Glover posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 5:46pm

Great story, I couldn't stop laughing.

Dracolych69 posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 5:11pm

Wow. This is definitely a sterling example of your guys work. Laughing and reading it out loud the entire time. Beautiful.

dan26 posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 5:00pm

Dang it all there should be a sequel to this story I laughed so hard in ages. To me its an insult to call Snape Batman he's to greasy,british, and should be called Grease Magnet

Sandpapyrus posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 4:44pm

... There's something seriously twisted going on in your head... BUT I LIKE IT!! Keep on keeping on!

Hemotem posted a comment on Saturday 20th February 2010 4:31pm

Where in the heck did this come from I mean there is just not enough ways to say this that you absofuckingloutly ROCK!!! From the mind that made this I humbly bow down to your supreme rule of fan fiction!! (Just take it easy with the fire ants)
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Sorry about that my misguided and mostly harmless muse named BOB (yes all uppercase) got to the keyboard
first after reading this story. I must agree with him in that this is a great read and do look forward to more of your wonderful works that you put together.

Hemotem and BOB