Keeroo92 posted a comment on Saturday 8th January 2011 2:19am for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

Nice prank on Neville and Ginny. Fred and George are in for it now!

ivorynightfall posted a comment on Friday 24th September 2010 11:38pm for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

Hermione is quite annoying...overly focused on the letter rather than the spirit of the law...quick to think the worst of Harry...first, Harry! You idiot! and then Damn you Harry! --;

NuitTombee posted a comment on Monday 13th September 2010 11:17pm for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

"I'm trying to get through the story, but my reticence to read anything positive about Draco "Dray" Black nee Malfoy, is making it a bit difficult. I am aware that nee is used to refer to maiden names." *Sigh* "I'll try too finish the story at least."

Jeremy Wong posted a comment on Thursday 2nd July 2009 4:37am for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

this is the best story i've ever read

Fidelia posted a comment on Friday 24th October 2008 4:59am for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

The silly, silly, useless willy curse - truly a laugh out loud moment...complete withthe puff of green smoke from the said willy. just genius.

a_lost_memory posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd January 2008 3:51am for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

I am sorry that I havn't reviewed before now, but I usually don't have time, I will however write you a nice long juicy one when I have the time and not about to head out to work... Anyways, I don't usually have questions for more than one chapter, as it's cleared up, but I took a look into the next, and didn't see the answer in the authors notes, so I just wanted to ask, and I do apologize if this sounds stupid and I just missed something, but its about Dursley, I had thought they killed him, when he shot at Harry?! So yea, I'm just wondering what the heck happened to bring him back, but hey maybe I'm just missing something, or whatnot!:p
Thank you so much for sharing all that you have and I can't wait to read more, though sadly I don't have the time too, but I thank you nonetheless for all that you've given those of us who had almost given up on good, and I mean really good, realistic stories that could be, especially in ya'lls case, published and out there, because they have the talent and plot and all the makings, and in your case, even better than a good lot of books out there!!! But I degress, and I have to run, so thank you and hopefully I will stop reading a chappie or two when I don't have the time to review or remember to do so;)
Thank you for bringing this and so much more to the fanfic community!
Stephanie

nimistar posted a comment on Thursday 8th November 2007 8:39am for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

meh, a leg with a limp is better then a hunk of metal anyway. might be a good idea if he uses that spell that makes his leg into little more then a dead hunk of meat though.

ella1983 posted a comment on Saturday 14th July 2007 12:03pm for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

oh my god i love that you've created a character just to torment her with the Weasley twins. One of the best parts of this story (in my humble opinion) is the fact that even when everything is serious and all doom and gloom you guys just chuck in something random about Amy's toes lol, i love it.

Selma Flamel posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 1:36am for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

Poor Harry he can’t even go on a honeymoon without being a hero (to more than his new wife of course). But yes he saved the library. Any chance of getting some of that material to the light of day.

GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Tuesday 5th June 2007 10:38pm for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

Nicely done

waywardson9577 posted a comment on Tuesday 13th March 2007 1:45am for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

Once again a well written chapter, BUT how in the world can good ole "teddy" tonks cast an obscuring charm??? He's a muggle and I hope that you have some interaction between cissy and andromeda now that the sisters are back together in Haven

Thorfinna posted a comment on Monday 27th November 2006 1:42pm for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

Ok, I just have to pause in my inhaling of your wonderful writing and comment on religion.

Thank you. Why?? I've read a ton of work where the muggleborns all suddenly become Goddess spouting Pagans. It seems to me to be way more believable that a Christian muggleborn would have to come to grips with the concept that the Wizard world didn't necessarily believe the same way. Its not a huge part, but its a nice touch and its the little details that make a good story. Ok, along with excellent plot line and characterization, not to mention well written with good grammer.

nice work you two.....

T

rippergirl posted a comment on Saturday 10th June 2006 6:30am for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

Crap I can't believe I forgot to mention the prank Ginny and Neville played on the twins. I hope somebody got pictures to use as blackmail against the boys in the future.

AJ4 posted a comment on Friday 9th June 2006 12:29pm for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

Another great chapter for this great story!!
-AJ : )

Whitewave511 posted a comment on Friday 9th June 2006 11:17am for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

Whew... I just spent half a week straight readin your two stories (this and sunset). Can I just say WOW!! This is an awesome story. I'm like y'all. I like H/G but the way you write H/Hr almost makes me change my mind. Like y'all intended its dark and angsty and humorous. I think that is what marks a good writer is being able to combine so many different aspects of writing. And yall do it so well. I must admit that I cam e kinda close to stop reading the first story cuz i thought it was a little.....weird. But despite that I kept on and I couldnt stop! So well, done! I cant wait for a new update! One request kind of thing? Maybe you could make a lil bit more Harry/Remus bonding?
Jen

AshWinder Index
This is a really good story if your lookin for one.

Rob2 posted a comment on Friday 9th June 2006 7:21am for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

Your action scenes are easily what makes this fic worth reading. The feeling of anticipation as Harry goes after Dumbledore in the previous chapter is exactly the sort of thing that this fanfiction is strong at - well-written plot with a strong main character.

They say that all good fiction should aim to suspend disbelief - to make the reader believe he is living the tale. Certainly with JKR's texts (with perhaps one notable exception, over which there is some controversy) have this feature about them; for some of your fic, this principle is in abundance - your research is always done stellarly (some laugh when I say that I know something I do because it was in a fanfic), and as mentioned your action scenes and the things that are not-too-far from canon are simply splendiferous. I will admit to being an avid follower of your fic until about chapter 7 or so of Sunrise.

That being said, there are two aspects that I feel I should touch on - as mentioned, I really enjoy your work, but as a fellow author (albeit one not nearly as accredited as yourselves), there are always things that are good to hear about. I don't request you change your ways - I know how easy it is to go on the defensive about this sort of thing, and I really don't want that; The intended message is not that 'the way you do things is horrible, and I want to eat your firstborn child, etc. etc..', but rather that these are things that are common errors (they show up in my own writing) that tend to lose you readers, and ultimately, the goal is to hold your readers' attentions.

The first is the absurd length of the chapters. In the hayday of my eyes, I used to be able to sit down and read the 400k works in a day and be fine when I woke up. I've irrevocably damaged my eyes from this and and as such, reading one of your chapters is long enough to make my eyes water. You have huge depth-of-plot, but at times it is too much, even. The point of writing is not to keep your reader busy; it is to tell a story and tell it well and concisely. Verbosity is not only useless, it is a good way to guarantee you won't get published or read any more. I can live with the length of your chapters - it's largely author's preference, and although my own tend towards the 8K range, it is nobody's business but your own how long your chapters. However, if you are going to make your chapters so long, it needs to be concise and purposeful. Harry plotting to do something for the first time is fine; when you show it three or four times (and again, not saying you do, this is purely an example) it gets tiring; likewise, when you showcase the residents of Haven going on with their lives, showing their appreciation to Harry is equally fine.

However, again, we don't need to see it over and over again just because it develops some original character whose role is to die in the next chapter, or be a farmer. Stick with your main characters and devote your time on developing them. Where your protagonist, sidekick and antagonist and are dynamic, you will write a page-turner; where you try to cover the world and briefly introduce everyone, you will write a nice paperweight. Be succinct, and develop the characters you have. When I come back to your work after a month to read a new update, I can't keep track of them, because they have not been developed.

Again, I stress that you have very strong writing - don't take this as put-down, merely as constructive criticism. Your action scenes and depth of plot are far above many of the rest and your writing style itself is great. It's, as mentioned, your brevity, and your respect to the material that need work.

By respect to the material, I mean that despite the fact that it is alternate-universe, you must still pay the Potterverse heed. Changing facts is fine; if in order to do a fic about Remus adopting Harry after the third year then obviously you need to change some of the issues. Some of the best fanfictions, and most of my favorites are alternate-universe. The problem with half of them, and indeed to at least some extent with yours is that there is not a respect for the depth of world that Miss Rowling has created, and at least while we are writing fanfiction, we must try to obey that. Your book is filled with wonderful magics and amazing feats; this is fine, because it is an alternate-universe you are entitled to do this, to break oath with JKR's vision of magic - however, while your magic is interesting, JKR's remains easier to read, easier to believe, and easier to understand.

Her idea of magic is very loosely defined - perhaps intentionally so, I'm sure - but there are only very few wizards who posess ultimate power. Regardless of Harry's power, the members of the Brotherhood are proportionately stronger than most of the strongest wizards and witches of JKR's world, and coming from a background where JKR has written six (five, at the time that you started) and you have written two (in the series), JKR's vision is far more prevalent in our heads. Your magic, by being so inexplicably powerful without any limitations (other than the prophecy, which is not sufficient to prevent Harry from being God to many, and by being so abundantly powerful, fails to suspend disbelief. It reads like a fanfiction, rather than a naturalized JKR novel. If this is your intent, then kudos to you, but in a genre where you wish to be taken seriously, you must make a serious attempt at artistic integrity, and though you write well, you must suspend my belief for me to buy another of your books (assuming you were selling them, which in a sense you are - you are trying to get me to believe it and like it; thus you have pitched me the book).

Again, this comes after nearly a year of faithful readership without a review. Your work has obviously kept me enthralled enough that I have continued reading. Your novels are wonderful pieces of work, and though I suggest you make them more concise (which may improve your update speed (much to the delight of your readers, and my own!) and attempt to fill in the details or limit the magics which may be done to catch my belief again, I do strongly feel that you are wonderful writers, and I hope you continue entertaining the literate masses for many years to come.

Thank you for many months of good reading material,
Le Rob.

Allen_b posted a comment on Monday 5th June 2006 3:17pm for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

Well, I have to say that I am blown away. You (both) write such amazing fan fiction that has had me captivated for weeks. I first read Dumbledore's Army on Fanfiction.net. I have been a fan ever since.

I would definitely say that I am a H/Hr shipper. However, your H/G stories have been well written and a joy to read. I was trying to stay on the fence between the two. After reading your H/Hr stories, I can't stay on the fence.

I could start a rant about my beliefs, but this is suppose to be about your wonderful story. I will rant on the Yahoo group when I can get a chance.

I don't like Super!Harry or Invincible!Harry stories because it is usually written by 12 year olds that can barely put two coherent sentences together. You've written such a attention grabbing thriller that I overlook this fault.

Please keep writing and feeding the inquisitive minds of your fans. Y'all make me want to put my thoughts down on paper. I just can't focus on one idea for a story.

Love your intros. Glad to see GalaxyQuest finally make an appearance in them.

Thank You.

Allen Brown

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Monday 5th June 2006 1:34am for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

Just another fabulous chapter. I have felt Luna had some role above and beyond - a uniqueness all her own beyond the typical. Can't wait.

I'm also interested in Dumbledore trying to 'enlist' Moody and how Mad-Eye will foil his attempts.

Tons of cleverness - as usual. Great work.

skywalker64089 posted a comment on Sunday 4th June 2006 7:45pm for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

Definitely eager for more of this. I will be watching with interest.

S.

Kristina posted a comment on Sunday 4th June 2006 9:30am for Chapter 11 - Honeymoon Surprises

good chapter, can't wait to see what happens next.