DAUFahnder posted a comment on Saturday 16th September 2006 8:44am for Chapter 20 - A Matter for Kings and Philosophers

Well,

nice story. But I do have one little problem with it:

To(o?) many sidestorys.

We have Dumbledore, the assassin, Voldemort in Hogwarts, the killings, this MinistryIdiot Amhar, Ginnys gift, Mad Eye and "his" muggles, the "normal" war going on in Britain, Malfoy and Mulciber trying to kill each other, Harrys leg, when and how will Snape die, the ghosts in Hogwarts and their "training", Harrys "moneymaking" (portals i.e.), etc etc.

Not that I would ever really complain, but that is a bit much. Your are risking awfully much and most of the time you just dont get forward with the mainstory: Harry vs Tom.

The portals are one thing I just dont think are a good idea.

Even this King-Visit in this chapter was a timefiller. Sure, the idea is nice and all, but it does not help the story.

DDs army is another such thing. Sure, it is nice to know that something is going on there, but why not just put it in a short paragraph? That Albus is not in his mind any more is obviously without all this.

To say it blunt: The story is getting longer than is good for it.

Greetz,
DF

Bobmin356 replied:

If you're having that much trouble following the plot line, then I'm sure you can find a simpler story for you to follow.

This story has been plotted out, and while you might not believe things are moving forward, they are. Much of what you are complaining to be filler turns out to be needed back story for future chapters. You want just tom and harry, look elsewhere.

Fortune posted a comment on Saturday 16th September 2006 8:43am for Chapter 20 - A Matter for Kings and Philosophers

i love this story, i read sunset over Britain n now this one. The disclaimers n the author notes r so funny esp those that maim characters that ppl hate. mabe there will be ones that involve Amhar. plz update soon

seishi posted a comment on Saturday 16th September 2006 7:44am for Chapter 20 - A Matter for Kings and Philosophers

Hey,
Brill Chapter, one of your best, id say! Cant wait for Dumbly and Harry to duke it out in Haven next chapter,

one question, shouldnt the wards around haven prevent dumbly from entering?

One final question,

Is this story only going to be a win win situation for the good guys? or are you going to plan some tragedy and some angst in later chapters? This story is going to be very predictable in future, if it is going to be like that. Why not have a mission that fails?

Bobmin356 replied:

Seishi,
 Not all of the missions will be a success or have low casualty counts. However the Haven troops have the advantage of superiour training and that is going to show every time. The Death Eaters are not trained to fight as a cohesive unit and that will hurt them, badly.

Wards have ways of being circumvented. It's just a matter of knowing how. The ward around Britian has the added problem of being out to sea, which makes most methods of circumventing the ward useless.

Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Saturday 16th September 2006 7:34am for Chapter 20 - A Matter for Kings and Philosophers

Fabulous chapter. I love how Narcissa and Remus were able to withstand Amhar's vendetta against them and came out of it with him losing more face than they. I see that our missing Council member returned... is he working for the correct side now?

Good job Harry on protecting the King. I am amazed that the muggle government is so thrilled that so many magical people were saved from England and yet the pureblood elitists treat the muggles as if they were barely a step up from a house-elf.

Anyway, I eagerly look forward to more.

Donald McLeod posted a comment on Saturday 16th September 2006 7:30am for Chapter 20 - A Matter for Kings and Philosophers

Good chapter. Also I like your bloopers replay it's like watchind the movie endding out=takes from a Chinies Action hero movie star, but only with visual words. Once more you two write a very good story and thank you for letting me read it.

Lurk posted a comment on Saturday 16th September 2006 5:51am for Chapter 20 - A Matter for Kings and Philosophers

w00! Great chapter guys! I'm assuming with the bloopers, you don't want all the ones with Hermioon, Hermeyeohnee, and the like. Too bad, I've read so many.

I love all the details in this! And I really love the interaction between the characters.

Dumbledore's REALLY scaring me now...that giggle reminds me of a guy (whose name I cannot remember) in a Sherlock Holme's story. It's just plain creepy.

Keep it up!

t_gebhardt posted a comment on Saturday 16th September 2006 5:28am for Chapter 20 - A Matter for Kings and Philosophers

Dumbledore has 60 men and plans to take on Harry? Depending on when and where he attacks he might do some damage, but it is more likely that his attack will be a very short one, more so if the brotherhood is in the mix. I doubt that his "militia" will fight to the deaths, nor do they know who they are to go up against.

If he goes to Britain an tries to take on Voldy and his death munchers he might have a higher chance of success, but it would still be very slime.

Ronnie McMains posted a comment on Saturday 16th September 2006 4:30am for Chapter 20 - A Matter for Kings and Philosophers

Good story as always. Question: Will Tommy-boy's attack on Harry run into Dumbles' attack on Harry and the two forces beat on each other until the Haven Aurors calmly walk over both of them? (snerk)
(Wanted: set of 150-plus-year-old marbles. Lost somewhere between 1945 and 1980. If found, please contact APWBD.)
So, will Largo be able to charge Amhar with treason; will Harry get to challenge him to a duel; or will he call Luna before the committee, say something really stupid, and wind up run through by a Crumple-Horned Snorkack? ^_^;

As to your blooper section; I highly agree. A good half-dozen stories on my ff.net favorite list need betaing badly. (Two particularly egregious cases come from the fact that the authors don't speak English as a first language; most of the rest are a result of bad punctuation or homophone abuse.)
Next on ffa.net: When Betas Attack!
Do please keep up the good work!

mathiasgranger posted a comment on Saturday 16th September 2006 4:20am for Chapter 20 - A Matter for Kings and Philosophers

My apologies on that, I was so accustomed to replying through fanfiction and it wouldn't allow me to do so.

On to the chapter, I am guessing you got the idea of Largo from the Bond movies also. Harry saved the king, eh? Maybe he can ask old Chuck to change the saying to Harry save the king as a thank you. Just a thought.

Otherwise a very entertaining chapter, you squeezed a lot into it and pushed the story along nicely. Keep up the good work and update soon.

Matt

beauty0102 posted a comment on Saturday 16th September 2006 4:17am for Chapter 20 - A Matter for Kings and Philosophers

yeah great chapter can't wait for more so please update again and soon.

theM posted a comment on Saturday 16th September 2006 3:40am for Chapter 20 - A Matter for Kings and Philosophers

Here's another one for your bloopers... "Bare with me"... Really Bob, keep that sort of thing to Alyx :) Very nice chapter, a nice bit of rest after the mass action in the previous one - but things still keep happening.