By Bobmin
Reviews
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 3:33pm
Definitely moving along quite nicely and enjoyably. *Grin* Concerning the disclaimer at the beginning, I would caution that except as a town in Illinois and as an old definition of "Teachers' College", "normal" is a very over-rated term.
Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 3:12pm
Whine... whine... whine... Charlie... whine... wine... oops, wrong kind of whine. That's what you get from us Californian's whining, eventually we get distracted by the vino and forget about the whine.
Excellent chapter, once again. I like your Harry, in that he is not hero perfect, my own admitted mistake. I find all of the characters to be realistic and in canon, yes, even Charlie. That Dumbledore $#@!% is quite convincing when he wants to be. He has had many decades of practice after all.
I can imagine all kinds of uses for Harry's immense power while he is angry: Boosting the wards, adding another death line to Britain to bisect it, casting a locator spell that can find the old $#@!%, adding a set of southern lights to match the northern lights, etc.
Loved the Three Stooges reference. Glad that it was the best ones. I might have had to do something I would regret if you had refered to Shemp... or shudder Curly Joe.
Mike.
Musings of Apathy.
P.S. Alyx...be sure that you keep Bob in line. I recommend positive reinforcement. That's right, positive, solid reinforcement for his cage and he will be less likely to escape.
Bobmin356 replied:
Alyx here. For keeping Bob in line, I use a closet. Nice, sturdy, locked door with enough room under it to slip him food from time to time :D
james2 posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 2:31pm
damn, i love this story. anyway, will you be using peeves and the other hogwarts ghosts more? maybe send them some portkeys to free some of the prisoners or some that would activate on contact when a DE touches them? that would be a great way to get rid of some DE risk free if the portkey sent them through the ward around britian. also if the chaos cauldrons were destroyed by the ghosts that would totally piss voldemort off. wonder how many DEs he would kill in his anger?
can't wait until the next update.
later,
james
Davideg posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 12:50pm
loved the capter keep up the great work
Alex00 posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 12:41pm
great chapter
beauty01021 posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 12:35pm
yeah great chapter. can't wiat for more.
minervakitty posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 12:23pm
Makes me wonder if the "line of death" also affects other things like vampires and whatnot when they cross it. Just how well will the house elves work with the attack force? I wonder why the other Outcast doesn't like their 15 minutes of fame. Did Hermione actually derailed SPEW? Just make me wonder how scary Mrs Johnson is when she's in battle mode.
AK posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 11:50am
Btw the tabs I gave are wrong some dashes are missing and I inverted the 3s and 5s... ugh!
Ken Warner posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 11:06am
Quite a nice chapter actually - even if you did leave out lovely Tonks in a bit of a sticky wicket, heh?
Seriously - the mis-direction of DD chasing the action, then finding out that Harry is quite a lot more perceptive than he previously believed is good. Like the various story lines maturing nicely along.
Dear Bob, the warning you gave to Harry in the disclaimer, Isn't Darling Alyx a writer too? Be nice or you might not get any more than he does.
Warmest Regards
Ken
jonnyb posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 10:05am
I have been following this story, albeit with a gap when you disappeared from ffnet, and I can say your story is quite good. Unlike others, you make it clear when things change, and the characters seem believable.
I do like the portrayal of Snape as a "prisoner" and I think that you're doing well with the Charlie Situation. A lot of authors would have had him confessing all within half a chapter.
Spelling mistakes. Few. Well done. Did catch the one, and it's one of the annoying ones. Like affect and effect etc. About midway through the chapter, you mixed Immigrate (to) with Emmigrate (from).
Nothing else to complain about.
Frank LeTanc posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 9:59am
another great chapter as always....
I'm glad that its taken time to get everything in place there are too many harry boffs girl et cetera et cetera....that have no plot and make no sense, or it has a plot its just weakly wirtten and jumps all over the place. I love this story I seriously can read this over and over again. As a matter of fact I like to pretend that these are the real book 6 and seven and pretend the drivel that was the Half-Baked Plot never happened.
No questions about Charlie or Ron(good riddance to bad rubbish as I always say. I never liked ickle ronniekins and I never will), but what happened to Molly? I know you dont want everyone paored off because that frankly inst realistic, but I think it would be interesting to have with Malfoy or have her with the Dark Lord and be the new Bellatrix. Lord knows she crazy enough.
Oh and here's a nominee for the updateless list. "Harry Potter and the Attack of the Clones". The story is by Lord Merrill originally Helvius. This is one of the best crossovers I;ve ever read. I don't know if crossovers are your cup of tea, but I figured I'd mention it. It can be found at http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2134100/1/ it says its complete but its not.
Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 9:35am
Great chapter. Loved it, loved it!
I totally agree with how you have handled Charlie. He was first manipulated by his parents true faith in Dumbledore and then by their purchased faith in Dumbledore. He has lost a brother, a mother, and a country. The ONLY one who has taken any time to explain what has been going on has been the leader of the light, Dumbledore. What I don't get is why his family, who has also experienced great loss, has avoided sitting him down and explaining everything to him. I mean the Brotherhood and certain other things should remain secret... but the true story about what happened has been avoided... and I honestly don't understand why.
The way you have highlighted the good and the bad with the residents of the town of Haven has been both wonderful and believable. It is pretty impressive that you are able to give such richness and details to sooo very many different aspects of this epic story.
Nice twist to use circumstance to implicate Dumbles even further... I wonder what color his aura is? I mean he was willing to partake of a very dark ritual to gain the power he though Harry had and he is only truly looking out for himself... so what would he feel should he cross the 'Line' into Haven? I mean if an uninitiated pre-DE is stricken by the wards... wouldn't they simarly affect Dumbles?
I totally agree with your latest addition to the updateless list. I really enjoyed that story and then it just stopped :(
Hurry and post more soon... and give me your address and we will see about sending you some homemade goodies!
Sean Dillon posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 9:26am
Another good chapter down. Interesting ritual that Snivellus looked up. Too bad about Penelope. She dies in so many stories, could it be fallout from being caught in the act with Percy in CoS?
How about calling the The Cauldron Bottom instead of The Dregs? Much more in keeping with the story's universe.
sean
Lady FoxFire posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 9:26am
"Go away you twisted sick people..." No I refuse to go away and to be exact I'm evil and twisted!
Now a spider will inject their victim with digestive acids then drink them dry and leave the empty husk behind but since Ron didn't have a hard outer shell I'm left wonder how messy a meal Ron would have made. I guess that's something I'll have to research and report back to you with.
And why did you pick on poor Alan Rickman? He didn't do anything but make Snape look good... Ok I see your point but did you have to do that to him? Why not torture Dumbledore or Voldemort for a bit?
SamanthaMeggin posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 8:47am
AWESOME! I love how Harry and the others are questioning Dumbledore's motives about the Death Eaters. Of course he had a reason for checking it out, and I hope you have Arthur talk to Charlie about Dumbledore fast. I know he's been brought up to believe in Dumbledore can do no wrong, but even he's got to admit, the evidence against Dumbledore will be to much to simple walk back to the old codder and believe every word that comes outta his mouth as truth. POST MORE ASAP!!!
Love ya,
Sam
It's also cool, how you got Harry to arrive just a minute to late and how one Death Eater died and the other got REALLY sick! WILL those that apparated back get sick at Dolovo's?
AK posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 8:39am
YAY!!! finally action!!! Seriously since you had so much to describe action was severely lacking up to this point, but your fight scene description was cool! I can already imagine one of the big combat scenes in your book!!! "It was a darky and stormIE night!!! Harry stood proudly on the top of the hill (because thats the most obvious place for the good-guy-super-hero to stand) Blue static discharges flashing all around him (cause everyone knows that uber powerfull guys have static discharges about em and blue looks goddam cool!) AND THE MUSIC IN THE BACK GROUND!!! The first part of the fight would be accompanied by "Blood Brothers" by Iron maiden (Tabs for the Beggining included)
|---------------------
|------------5-5--7-
|--2-2--5---3-3--5-5--
|-0-0--3-3------------
(err I dunno if I can actuallu really put em here but you can get free tabs like that from the web anyway and I doubt any one needs em anyway them being utterly incomplete)
And then when one of the important guys is severely/fatally wounded Harry get REALLY pissed off and the music changes to "Get down with the sickness" by disturbed, and he kicks SOME SERIOUS ASS!!!
...
...
Yes you really shouldn't feel obligated to answer to this review I think that this fever I've been having for a few days is really clouding my judgement but that was fun to wright!
One actual real question thow: Snape, now in your story he is a) an ass, b) a vindictive ass, c) an annoying back stabbing vindictive ass. But nevertheless 9is that how you spell that word?) he was a spy for Dumbledore and was (I am kinda assuming this part) ready to die to get rid of good ol' Voldie, so I would have expected him to commit suicide the second he got a chance instead of helping Voldie getting that power-booster potion (just my two cents)
Oh and about Charlie: whine whine whine!!! (Yes I do not mind you torturing him a bit... so what I am a sadistic [child born out of wedlock] )
Oh ya about you wigglin out of using Canada, if it is in the same way you used France than Thank you from all the Canadian readers out here (and sorry that we are still gonna kick you ass in hockey BOO YA! CANADA ALL THE WAY) but as a Patriot (even if I was not born in this truly wonderfull country) I must ask (but you are in no way forced to comply) that you give us Canadians some cool role in the story. Like Cannon fodder for our Aurors (we are used to that they did that to us every time we helped them goddam elglish in their wars WWI and WWII... evil brits)
Oh how do we send you doughnuts ? I think you deserve some! (only from Tim Hortons thow)
Final note to the attention of Alyx: Bib is normal, we men are all like that some just hide it better, but at least he can wright real good! so keep him! (I know you don't give a damn about my advice, and I don't blame you)
Wow long friggen review!
"Because I believe that the beaver* is truly a beautifull and proud animal!"
* I know that it's a rodent but its the best of the lot!!
James posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 8:33am
Charlie's list about Dumbledore!
1. Dumbledore’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Dumbledore does not sleep. He waits.
3. Dumbledore is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right hand.
4. The chief export of Dumbledore is pain.
5. Dumbledore defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Dumbledore loves you.
6. Dumbledore isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Dumbledore.
7. If you can see Dumbledore, he can see you. If you can’t see Dumbledore you may be only seconds away from death.
8. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Dumbledore instead decided to spell his way out of his mother’s womb.
9. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Dumbledore.
10. Dumbledore can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
11. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Dumbledore allows to live.
12. In fine print on the last page of the Fire-Whiskey Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Dumbledore, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.
13. Dumbledore invented cancer because he was tired of killing people
14. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Dumbledore could use to kill you, including the room itself.
15. Dumbledore is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
16. Dumbledore is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
17. When Dumbledore goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
18. Dumbledore has two speeds: walk and kill.
19.When Dumbledore jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Dumbledore instead.
20. Dumbledore can divide by zero.
21. Dumbledore can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
22. When Dumbledore runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
Kyle Bissett posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 8:04am
When you first mentioned the Rite of Anthrokrak, you said that the victim had to be virgin. You didn't repeat that, so I have to wonder if you either changed your mind or if Snape mistranslated on his first pass.
Since the ritual can only be done on a given person once every two weeks, and Harry was missing over the summer for ten weeks at most, he could only have performed the ritual five times. To get that kind of a power boost from draining five cores, Harry would have taken out five powerful (and therefore theoretically visible) mages. While Snape is a bastard of te highest order, he isn't an idiot, so he'd be able to follow this logic and conclude that this is NOT the source of Harry's new power.
Dudley won't make a very good assasin. Unless Harry ends up in some public appearance which is announced in advance at some location outside of Haven, Dudley will just hit the ward and fall down puking.
How could Charlie get into a position to drug Harry when he's effectively alienated himself from Harry's inner circle? And is Charlie's assumption that the great childhood authority figure can do no wrong that well entrenched or did AD use some spell to make him automatically reject evidence to the contrary? He isn't even trying to consider that there's more going on than he knows.
For once in this story, AD is innocent of what people are planning to accuse him of. A pity his enemies won't believe him.
The last fic I submitted to the Updateless List got updated shortly after I submitted it, so I must withdraw 'Magic and Martial Arts: Year One' from consideration. In its place, I submit 'Harry Potter and the Zyorious Scepter':5th year AU, H/Hr, potentially redeemed Draco.
Here's a real challenge: Come up with a plausible way to redeem Draco that does not involve one of the following items:A:A Death Eater (usually Lucius) brings harm or dishonor toa member of his family (usually Narcissa). B: He decides that groveling at Riddle's feet is an affront to his ego.
Bobmin356 replied:
The initial concept of being a virgin was a mistranlation on the part of Snape. As to how many times Harry could have performed the ritual, and we know he didn't, Voldemort doesn't care. It's not something that interests him except that Snape was researching it.
Snape thought that Harry might be have used the ritual. Voldemort doesn't care how he got stronger, all he knows is using the ritual will make him stronger.
Yes, getting Charlie into position to drug Harry was mentioned as a possibility, not as a certainty. Do not latch on to something someone says and take it as gospel. Plans change as a result of what is happening.
Dudley is a muggle with almost no aura at all. The ward would have little effect on him, but that doesn't matter. We already know how Harry and Dudley will meet up and I think everyone is going to be surprised by it.
Robin Westerly posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 7:55am
If you want krispy creme donuts then post a billing address.
I don't understand ( but then this is my usual state of existance), do you want reviews or not?
You seem to complain about them quite often even when they are nice (I have proof but I can't be bothered to check which chapter).
Nooo you have even made me use brackets! NO!
Aside from that, great story!
I apologise for ... well life in general but for particularly the whiny nature of this review.
It will not happen again... hopefully
Bobmin356 replied:
Shame on you for illegal use of Brackets in a review! :D
Rowan Mikaio posted a comment on Friday 17th February 2006 4:09pm