By Bobmin
Reviews
xyvortex posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 11:14am
good chapter, only thing i spotted for your beta readers was a typo in the extraction scene. In the last paragraph, personal should probably be personell
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 9:56am
*Wicked chuckle* So now Charlie falls into Dumbledore's hands? I'm surprised Dumbledore didn't pick up Harry & Hermoine when they were in Stonewall Lane.
I'm loving how this story's going and thank you for taking us along for the ride.
Kari posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 9:17am
Nice work kids :D
patrik svensson posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 9:03am
Great story,
keep up the good work.
Opinions are like assholes.
Everyone has one - but some just smell worse than others.
Jack-A-Roe posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 8:37am
You certainly have alot of storylines to keep track of and you've done a good job of juggling them.
Hermione running out was definitely humorous.
Poor Charlie, he's such a good boy looking for his family.
Taking down the charm should add some risks for you to play with.
Loved the little kids capturing Harry. That was a nice little aside.
rhibrew posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 8:31am
I wondered what you were planing for Charlie! DUMBLEDORE!!! NOOO!! LOL.
I hope Charlie is aware that finding DD is not good news!!
Harry and Hermonie are soo cute.
I love you guys!! You acutally update your story!! (Unlike the Lupin/ Tonks fan fic I got all into without knoeing I would likely die of old age before its finished!)
Exarikun posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 7:06am
guessing the 'grandfatherly voice' belongs to one meddlesome fool named dumbledore? would be too easy otherwise... logically, the old fool would immediately start poisoning charlie against harry and co, making it appear like they're the ones who abandonned the rest of england. and really, having been in romania for who knows how long, what reason does he have to distrust dumbledore, other than his own individuality?
hope to see another update soon.
Lucia Depenhart posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 6:57am
Outstanding!
Robert Hope posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 6:44am
So Dumbledore's back in the game? I agree that he shouldn't die yet, maybe right before Voldie bites the dust.
Jim_xinu posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 6:24am
"Charlie was shocked to see large swatches of London had burned to the ground. There were a lot more people in the city than in the urban areas where people were hiding and hoping things would blow over."
Err, urban areas would be cities. Are you sure you don't mean rural?
""My word, if it isn’t Charlie Weasley! What a fortuitous and welcome find," murmured a grandfatherly voice."
Ouch! Poor guy's luck just ran out. I don't remember if Charlie was around in Sunset, but I can certainly understand his desire to find his Mum, especially if he wasn't around for her recent rampages. I wonder if she wouldn't be knocked out by the Line, though.
It'll be interesting to see if he buys into DD's lies, is coerced, or used as a hostage.
Considering all the live-and-death they've gone through--and still have in front of them--I think they're worrying a bit too much about a little nudity.
Thank you for *not* dragging out Hermione's proposal acceptance. For a moment I feared large amounts of angst. :-)
The Johansens are cute.
This shows that Haven's still rather disorganized. They already knew they were going after a bunch of kids, somebody should have been preparing some place for them.
Thanks for sharing this with us--it's a great story.
Kristina posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 6:08am
i really like this chapter, i thought hermione's reaction to harry proposing was cute! but when is molly coming back into the picture? we haven't seen her much! although she was being a little evil, we need to know what is going on with her! and is ron dead? cause i really hope so! i didn't like his attitude! but keep it up! it's really good!
~kristina~
Jake posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 5:35am
Great chapter, Like I said, I really like Mama Johansen and I'm really happy that you're giving her a big part in the story. I wonder, is that grandfatherly voice owned by Dumbledore? I can't wait to see what you do with him. Keep up the great work and update soon!
-Jake
MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 4:45am
Another great chapter, I think Dumbasadoor is gong to use Charlie to get to Harry. I can't wait to see what you have planed next. Wonderful Job! Bob and Alyx.
MPF
Christopher Estep posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 4:33am
However, it looks like *somebody* has an interest in Arthur, whether you realize it or not. Meanwhile, Harry proposes to Hermione! Also, Riddle searches for the Cauldron of Chaos (which he needs for a potion-based ritual). Charlie sneaks back into Britain and, if I'm not mistaken, eventually runs into Dumbledore. I see Hermione is *still* recovering from bonding to Winky.
Viridian posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 2:41am
Another great chapter! The tensions are slowly starting to build again!
I noticed Neville has not made an appearance lately. Is he still having problems from Ron's last attack?
Arthur Weasley is hilariously goofy, what with his being smitten and all. Nicely done.
"As to the readers creeped out by our comments about the French President." - That was't a real world reference??? I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked. really.
Kyle Bissett posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 2:11am
So Albus is reforming the Order. I wonder how many members are still active. A sizeable number were probably killed by Shacklebolt's treason, several members defected to the Brotherhood, and the rest are most likely in hiding.
You haven't stated anything about Molly's survival or lack thereof. That will probably come in a later chapter.
I can tell this will not be an HP story where the epilogue states he becomes Minister. If he can barely stand making a public statement without a question session, he'd never last in politics.
shlager_5321 posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 2:00am
great chapter once again
i wonder though if dumbledore will realise that this tim around he simply cant win this war?
anz as much as i would like to have Harry kill him i think that it would be more fitting if he would be thrown in prison
cheers!!
update soon!!
Regress posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 1:11am
As to the last comment in your note for this chapter (Not every single person will be hooked up with someone. Sorry.) , THANK YOU! It's a pretty common error, from what I've read anyway, to hook everyone and their grandmother up with someone and have them all go from neutral to madly in love in 6.2 seconds.
Hehe, You haven't heard from me yet, but I've been reading your stuff since about half-way through Sunset, and I like what I've read!
I do wonder why you haven't had harry throwing around his magical might even more (I know it sounds odd concidering you've had him throw up a anti-evil shield around all of Britain, but bear with me). I mean how hard would it be for him to jump in every now and then, smite a bit of evil, and jump back out into Herm's waiting arms? Yes, he can't do EVERYTHING, but right now you've got him throwing his political and financial weight around, and not doing very much with his magical weight. I don't know, maybe I'm too used to all the "Harry the lone avenger, stalker of evil in the night" stories that are around, but it's a bit odd to see him as a near magical god, and just not using it all because a prophecy told him that he couldn't go to bat yet. With him being so aggressive in this, it strikes me as a bit odd that he'd bow to prophecy so quickly, when he's magically capable of holding off an entire death eater army along with voldie for an extended period of time (ie. protecting hogwarts) What stopped him from conjuring a big honkin' rock to squish them all when he had them right in front of him? If he can create a shield around all of Britain then a really big rock couldn't be too hard for him could it? Maybe it's just me, but he's being a bit of a push-over in this.
And what about Dumbledore? I mean... he's a master manipulator, and yet he still hasn't managed to conjure himself up a clue? I know you've got him as a pretty uptight and set in his ways bastard-behind-the-scenes, but is he really STILL thinking that Harry should just bow to his whims and that everything will turn out smelling like roses, Harry will be his willing pawn, and he'll be the big almighty god-like hero again? Your really don't like the old bag do you? Personally I'd give him a BIT more credit, but not too much. Unless you just went with the whole, he's really an evil manipulating bastard at heart, and has no real good intentions beyond his own ownership of the wizarding world. In which case you've done a very good job.
Now that the rant is out of the way, I really do like your writing! Both of you! It's your story and my mild criticisms won't stop me from enjoying your writing, or your torturing of Snape, who I have to agree is most certainly NOT Alan Rickman, who may or may not be a nice guy, and not a greasy bastard at all.
Hehe, sorry about all that, I didn't mean for this to be a negative review, it just kinda came out like this. That and I was bored, and saying "J00 r0xx04z!!!1!!eleventy-one!" just wasn't going to satisfy the boredom.
icaro posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 12:45am
The old man again!!!
You said that we'd know more about Molly in this chapter, but nothing, no finding, no dead body, only poor Charlie running like mad, getting hurt (I've a soft spot for him) and being found by Bumblebee...
Read you soon!!!
Alex00 posted a comment on Monday 12th December 2005 11:35am