J User posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 7:40pm

Nice to see things continue to develop, and the expected Remus/Tonks relationship starting to appear. (There's definitely something to be said for being straightforward with relationships; it's one of the reasons Luna is so much fun, if written halfway well, in so many stories.) The Daily Prophet / Quibbler juxtaposition is amusing as always.

That seems an unusually brutal way to write Rita out of the picture, especially if she can't remember what she was investigating; after the intial zapping, I'd expected her to become another antagonist (yes, even though it was her own damn fault). Will she be appearing again at all, or is that it for her?

Japanese usage note: Harry, being male, should not be using watashi to refer to himself. That's for girls, and possibly also certain particularly formal situations (which are unlikely to arise here); he should be using boku instead. (There are a bunch of other options depending on the exact context, but they don't really apply in Harry's case - he'll be sticking with the formally-taught forms.)

Kalen Darkmoon posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 7:13pm

Love the story and this chapter was truly great. It's good seeing Sirius settling down with a great match for him and the Remus/Tonks ship prepping to sail. Both deserve happiness as do their significant others.

I especially like the realism you've portrayed in Harry's neglect and abuse issues and Hermione's poor self-esteem. Such things leave wounds and scars that last a lifetime and it takes a great deal of strength from both parties in a relationship to help each other heal some of those wounds.

I have had a similar life to Harry's though with a great deal more physical abuse. Though sadly I have yet to find my Miss Right, I'm heartened to see that at least some authors actually address just how severe the damage really is to a person who has faced such and portrayed it in real and meaningful manner. Rather than glossing it all over as most do, including JKR herself.

I know JKR was trying to portray a Merlin-esque Dumbledore ensuring a humble King Arthur-esque kind of childhood for Harry. The problem is that although King Arthur's upbringing was indeed humble, he never lacked for a loving family. JKR piled on the abuse and neglect issues with the Dursleys being very hateful towards Harry but then never did anything to even remotely portray Harry realistically/believably as if he had actually grown up in such a hostile and hateful environment.

Ultimately, the Harry Potter of canon was no hero but all along nothing more than a brainwashed puppet/weapon that was made to suffer and then sent to die for the mistakes of others. There is no hero in the world of Harry Potter. Only monsters on two sides of a conflict, one out to kill a child (among others) and the other... huh, guess what? also setting up the child to die as well - it just had to be at Voldie's hand and his alone.

While I was an early fan of HP, as canon progressed I found that I had to turn to fan-fiction because of my growing horror and utter disgust as I realized what was being done to Harry. That he was being used as nothing more than a weapon by the so-called good guys with no consideration whatsoever for his happiness or well-being. I saw since books 5 (and especially the beginning of HBP where Dumbledore revealed he KNEW about the Dursley's cruelty towards Harry all along) that there was absolutely NOTHING good or decent about the wizarding world that deserved Harry's continued suffering. In fact, if they are unable to stand up and fight for themselves, they certainly do not deserve the help of a child their so-called "leader of the light" subjected to 16 years of cruelty. That same leader then as his final manipulation MARTYRED himself in front of Harry. Rather than 'stupefy'ing and hiding Harry, he petrified and hid him in a position that made Harry watch as Snape killed him. Don't think for an instant that wasn't intentional. There was no reason not to stupefy Harry rather than petrify him unless he wanted to ensure Harry saw what Dumbledore knew was coming.

Dumbledore in my mind showed that the wizarding world truly deserved everything Voldemort was bringing down upon them for their own apathy and WILLFUL ignorance. For, any society or its leaders who see brainwashing children into suicidally taking out their enemies deserves not only utter contempt but whatever destruction is rained down upon them! There is NOTHING, there is NO so called "greater good", that can ever justify subjecting a child to 16 years of cruelty and virtual slavery and then manipulating them into suicidally taking out an "enemy".

That is perhaps why I've liked so many of your stories the most. You two are easily my favorite HP fan-fic authors out there because you've dealt justly with Dumbledore for his crimes against Harry. Not giving the old-b*stard a heroic and martyred death in Harry's glaringly sycophantic eyes.

How is what Dumbledore did to Harry any different than Islamic extremists who brainwash young children, strap them full of explosives and then send them off to blow up a crowded store or bus? Hmm? Dumbledore believed what he was doing was "right" and "just" and "for the greater good" just like those same extremists believe the same thing when they send innocent young children off to be blown up. Children deserve our utmost protection and love, NEVER to be used as a weapon in a conflict.

Those un-addressed issues along with the travesties of the Harry/groupie... err Ginny pairing and, I just want to vomit when I think, Albus Severus Potter have rendered an otherwise great creation on her part into a steaming pile at the end. Long live fanfiction!!

May your ink-wells never run dry and your quills remain forever sharp. Long live Bob & Alyx!!

Infin1x posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 6:43pm

*Gets out petition for Bob and Alyx to be made president and chief torturer* I don't know why but it felt weird reading something with Lavender as the antagonist. Like learning Crabbe was the brains of Slytherin.

Gareth posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 5:29pm

Original,gripping story.Looking forward to the next chapter.

iluvchocs posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 5:18pm

Thanks so much for the update, I've ben eagerly awaiting it. I really liked how Hermione handled the McLaggen situation XD Pairing Ron with a Hufflepuff seems rather appropriate - someone he can settle down with and have a big Weasley sized family, and it's good he and Hermione are patching up their friendship again. And I loved what happened to Rita :D

Chris Steadman posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 5:11pm

As a long-time resident and native son of Wisconsin... Hey!

If I didn't have various important cheese-and-beer related duties to attend to, I'd actually reprimand you.

That being said, excellent work as always!

Please keep it up! Any time I see the update email pop into my mailbox, my day perks up immediately.

infinity2x0 posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 5:02pm

Hey. great stuff, can't wait for the next chapter. I think things are going well for this fic and that it has some room for expansion in the near future. I sense changes coming soon, perhaps for the Yule season and some sort of trap that lavender might try and set up?

PhishBulb posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 4:34pm

Yeah plot!! Boo interpersonal relationships!!

This story seems to be settling into your niche. Excellent development of the world the characters live in. Strong plot. Painful interactions. ~Deleted~ Harry.

It's not like I'm looking for the guy to ~Deleted~ everyone around him but good god -- between you and kinsfire it's pretty much a given exactly what we'll be getting out of Harry in any given situation and it isn't pretty. Yours is slightly more butch though, so at least he has that going for him. It isn't attractive, it really isn't that believable. It just is. And it's starting to become a defining characteristic of your stories.

I'm not sure what this review was meant to accomplish. You write well enough for me to keep clicking on the next chapter -- but any relationship stuff is still painful at this point and an automatic scroll past. Harry/Hermione, Remus/Tonks. It just doesn't seem to be working. I hope you're enjoying writing this and that you get everything out of it that you want. Best of luck with the next chapter.

Bobmin356 replied:

Review edited for language.

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 4:15pm

Good chapter, thanks for sharing it with us.

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 3:53pm

*wicked laugh* Lavender had best watch it, I daresay Hermione is more than capable of protecting herself - I certainly don't think she expected her to put McLaggen off so firmly or easily. She's really going to find herself in trouble if she pushes matters.

I love what happened to Rita. It's even better in that it's all her own fault and she can't even say what she was doing. I'll give odds she won't be transforming again, not in that impaired condition.

I like the way Harry & Hermione's relationship is slowly developing greater intimacy. Neither is trying to lead the other but both are working together to open up more. That shows commendable maturity in and of itself.

It will be interesting to see how much of a danger the Cult of Voldemort develops into and how much they'll threaten the search for the Horcruxes. I daresay they'll be surprised at the teeth that Harry/Evan, Sirius, et al. will have developed.

Finally, that Christmas party was a delight, esp. seeing Harry so firmly shoot down Frances. That's clearly a full crash and burn, there.

TheHard posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 3:50pm

Hey! You've not sent me my random number of generic reader's identity! I demand one!

... I've always wondered: the "Anti-Cruciatus" Potion is canon?

It's Frances make an aparition again? and what is in Lavender's mind, mh?

Nice chapter, Was a good read for 4am :)

lilchuckie posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 3:38pm

oh dear god...

did you have harry make a philosophers stone?

i can think of a few things he can do with that...

any chance you'll mention transmutation in any of your stories?
cause that stone reminded me of full-metal...

*rain praise*
keep up the good work.

Rogue15us posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 3:18pm

I am impressed with this chapter. It really showed how things were progressing with Harry and Hermione's relationship.

I do have one comment though...

Red Crystal = Sorcerers Stone

That would be really interesting.

morriganscrow posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 3:17pm

A wonderful read.
The evolving relationships are fun and 'real', the diaries are a great idea and all the characters are interesting and multi-faceted.
Thanks for all your hard work.

beauty0102 posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 3:12pm

yeah great chapter can't wait for more so please update again and soon.

Sonicdale posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 2:52pm

Great chappie.
Thanks for a different take on the Cruciatus curse and the aftermath. Sees like there are so many fics that have Harry get hit with it and then shrugs it off like a stinging hex. It's an Unforgivable for a reason...

I like the "King Kong" attitude. Reminds me of JBern's crazy asian tutor for Harry that is in the same mold. Heh.

Good work all around.

The Midnight Poster posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 2:51pm

Another greet chter! Loved the way Harry put Frances in her place. rite more! :)

zac posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 2:37pm

You should know that I had to stop reading for a full ten minutes after that peeing in the snow bit, and I woke up my 5 month old niece when I looked outside and saw that it was snowing. I tend to agree with you about the crucuatius. It wouldn't be an unforgivable if you could just shake it off. I love the way you are developing the outher characters in this story. Dan, Emma, and(to a lesser extent) Cindy are some of my favorite original characters in fanfiction. I do want to see more Cindy but I understand that this is a story that revolves around Harry and Hermione, not Sirius and Cindy. Thanks for writing.

bookaholic_au posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 2:16pm

I agree with you that the British wizarding society has it's flaws, but I consider this situation comparable with racism - some people are extrodinarily racist, others work hard to change the status quo while others just go with the flow.

Ooops. That's what you said, just about, silly me!

Great chapter.

Roberta Johnson posted a comment on Friday 30th November 2007 1:54pm

I know I'm not the only one who saves your Disclaimers and Author's notes. You write the only ones I save, though!
I very much enjoy the stories, too!