Sheepstamper posted a comment on Sunday 18th November 2007 7:22pm

As I don’t want to end up being Generic Reader #7, I thought that I would put more of an effort into this review than I have previously.

Great Cahpter — Please rite more!

Just kidding, I have enjoyed reading this story, it is nice to see the romance between Harry and Hermione progressing so nicely along the lines of normal teenagers, even with a bit a magic involved. The book-space was nicely done and left me wanting more. Sirius and Cindy are a joy to watch and their interplay with each other offers a uniquely view point on adult entertainment, Dan and Emma are good, although I am surprised about the amount of resolve that Dan has and he has not even queried Harry about his relationship with his daughter yet — is this to come later on?

I do have one small query and it concerns Malfoy Senior in your first chapter — The Goblet of Fire you said that ‘Lucius Malfoy had been kissed and most of his fortune confiscated’ whereas in Chapter 4 — Year Five Continued you say that ‘Malfoy, whose father is now serving 27 consecutive life terms in Azkaban for bribery, murder and sedition’. If you have been kissed can you still serve 27 consecutive life terms?? Isn’t the body just a ‘husk’? why can he leave and become a bourdon on his remaining family than have the Ministry keep picking up the tab for his welfare? Just a thought?

Also just to point out that when you ‘pinch’ something the correct spelling is ‘nicks’ and not ‘Knicks’, there is no silent ‘K’

Sheeps

Seel'vor posted a comment on Sunday 18th November 2007 4:40pm

Bob & Alyx,

Everytime I get an e-mail notifying me of more of your work being posted, I drop whatever I'm doing (including going to work, sometimes) to read it. Your Sunset/Sunrise series was exemplary, your recent one-shots are amazing.

However, on to the review of this story. You've taken several concepts (A H/Hr ship, Manipulative!Dumbledore and Independant!Harry) and turned it into a brilliant piece of work. When the first chapter came out I read it straight away. Then, I read it again. Then, I downloaded it and printed it. In less that 7,000 words, you'd set up a marvellous scenario, with plenty of room for expansion. It could even have been left as a one-shot.

I know I'm rambling a bit here, but I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your incredible work with us, and for posting new chapters quickly. It's appreciated.

noylj posted a comment on Sunday 18th November 2007 3:12pm

Really good story, but Harry SHOULD NOT forgive Minnie any time soon. Nor should the students who had Umbitch torture with the headmistresses head stuck up her arse.I can not believe that Hermy's parents would even consider staying in England, especially with socialized medicine and no right to self-defense. Better a citizen than a subject.

DaZZa posted a comment on Sunday 18th November 2007 11:56am

You guys keep turning out superlative work that leaves the reader waiting for more. I love the way you're painting wizarding Britain as insular and bigoted, despite the apparent "better attitudes" of some families. Excellent stuff, and I'll be watching eagerly for the next chapter as I re-read "Sunrise". :-)

Oh, Alyx - don't forget to oil the whip. Works much better that way. :-) :-)

Caverns posted a comment on Sunday 18th November 2007 9:38am

very nice chapter. good to see the relationship of HHr progressing as it would as in real life.

Loved 'the talk' part, sirius and harry's interaction was great.
Favourite line in chapter has to be "Someone is going to marry Sirius Black?
lmao cant wait for the next one, keep up the good work :)

fallingmonkey3 posted a comment on Sunday 18th November 2007 8:47am

Great chapter you guys. I this fic is really good. The Fijian wizarding customs are great... I've read fics before where the British customs are completely thrown over, but never in such detail as this. Is McGonagall going to become a bigger character in this or just make cameo apperances? Update soon you guys!!

Mel Evans posted a comment on Sunday 18th November 2007 8:28am

I Hope I wasn't Generic Reader #6. I feel guilty when leaving a short review because you guys come up with so many ideas and it must take you forever to write each chapter, so its very selfish of me to leave short review - I admit it. But sometimes you leave me speechless and I have nothing left to say - So here's a longer review to make up for some of the short ones :).

I absolutely love the way you're building Harry and Hermione's relationship. I can't wait for more of their time in bookspace - do they have to be completely honest in bookspace, like they do when writing in the journals? That could prove interesting.

Also I'm glad Sirius has found someone to be happy with. In most every story I read he ends up being an unhappy and lonely bachelor. And it will probably also help Harry to have a female adult around he can turn to.. he can't very well talk to Hermione's mum about certain things..

I'm also liking how you've enlisted Emma to help in the search, its extremely likely that a lot of items pass out of the magical world into the muggle world. I have a horcrux in a muggle museum in my story as well, (its a very average story.. no need to read it) and I feel.. I can't put it into words.. But its something along the line of 'Well my idea can't have been that horrible if authors as great as you guys also decided to use something like it'. I hope that makes sense..

And Finally, I love how you've illustrated how shortsighted the wizards are with regard to Muggles. We've done alright for never having had magic!

I can't wait for more of this story!

Mel

Philipe posted a comment on Sunday 18th November 2007 8:22am

don't know if it works here or not, but let's give it a try:

We're trying to work on a realistic relationship where the couple doesn't fall into bed within the second chapter of the story. As a result they will be having talks every so often as they deal with their insecurities. If this bothers you and turns you off, do yourself and us a favor and stop reading. Don't bother leaving a review saying you don't like it. This is a departure from our usual writing style and we're experimenting.

Well, if i say i like it better then the usual, will i get buried alive as well? *scared look* Anyway guys, i really like this story, and for me, 'till now, it has been your best.. i like the elements you guys added here, specially on this chapter, with the Weasleys reactions to Harry's lack of power. It was really interesting.. what i miss tho is Luna.. You guys usually use her more..

Well, great story so far, back to work!! :D

Cheers

solicitor posted a comment on Sunday 18th November 2007 3:30am

I will be happy to represent Cindy pro bono. I can make a case of either jurisdiction or the letter of the law vs. the intent of the law. Not to mention that her oath is just as binding as a wizard's.

thewisesirivanthes posted a comment on Sunday 18th November 2007 1:48am

Normally you guys do a great job seeding your stories with factual information but 2500 hectares is a bit much. That is well over 5000 acres. You even went further saying that it was about the size of a modest college. Auburn University is a major public university and is only 1,843 acres. It serves over 25,000 students. You are saying that this major university is less than half the size of a "modest" college, on an island no less!

Though I am proud of you guys that this is the only flaw I have ever found in the years I have been reading your works.

dic posted a comment on Sunday 18th November 2007 1:05am

grate cahpter!

umm... yeah liked it, as I like mostly everything you write.. so keep it up!
not exactly the perfect review, but better than nothing, huh? ^^

lelila posted a comment on Saturday 17th November 2007 10:04pm

i'll be sure to bring out the cart for generic reader #7 whenever alyx is done with him or her.

i love the pace of this story. harry and hermione's relationship is just so cute! the romance of a tropical vacation fling combined with a relationship based on friendship and mutual affection, thrown in with a lil mystery to keep everyone else at bay, and so much more just makes for a great story here. and i cannot wait til all the rest of the girls get to finally see 'evan.' that ought to be a bit of fun! it'll be even better when they all find out evan is really harry. hee hee. and their reactions to when harry proposes to hermione on their graduation day will grand!

i do wonder what in the name of merlin was remus thinking when he let sirius give the talk to harry. it did make for a spectacular result tho. hee hee. as for another spectacular result, so it took a bed of little crabs to get sirius to propose to cindy. i wonder what it would take for remus to find and propose to someone. will remus find someone for himself?

you know, as much as i like professor macgonagall, i kinda wish u had harry dunk her into the pool. to hear what she would have said to him afterwards would have been priceless. i like how professor mcgongagall got umbridge sacked. it's interesting to see how certain events are playing out on this plotline of events.

as always a wonderful chapter and i wants more!!

Akali posted a comment on Saturday 17th November 2007 6:46pm

I loved it. This is one of my favourite Hermione & Harry stories. Well done. Akali

Frank LeTanc posted a comment on Saturday 17th November 2007 2:33pm

jeez bob you leave alyx alone for one minute with the disclaimer, and she starts the ritualistic floggings. Not only that, but floggings that would make Mel Gibson proud! I guess that'll teach you not to look lovingly at the neighborhood donut shoppe.

wrl posted a comment on Saturday 17th November 2007 1:53pm

I'm a little frightened that I'll be the next generic reader 6 because I'm a reader not a clever writer. I just wanted to say that your stories are far more intricate and imaginative that most I've read on Portkey or Fanfic. I appreciate that you take the time and effort to compose these wonderful tales for us delusional souls.

Harry2 posted a comment on Saturday 17th November 2007 1:37pm

The story is coming along great. I like how it addresses all the normal teen problems concerning relationships. This story could be used as a guide for an honest, long distance relationship. This story is a nice and accurate view of reality. Keep up the good work.

Vongsawat posted a comment on Saturday 17th November 2007 1:20pm

love da fic. love all your fics actually. and does this mean that theres going to finally be some action between the two lovebirds? =P and it wouldve been funny if Mcgonnagol got the dunk =P
hope you update soon ^^ i read all your fics (well, im working on that actually)

Tom Hackwood posted a comment on Saturday 17th November 2007 1:14pm

First a comment about the A/N...

And the problem with a slowly developing relationship is what? Relationships have ups and downs, stops and starts. Some people take the physical relationship very seriously, to them it is something that's sacred.

The pace of the kid's relationship is one of the major reasons I read this story. So, from my perspective, keep on doing what you've been doing!

The chapter itself was good. My favorite part was the comment about wet cats (and I wished you'd written the dinner scene!). The least favorite part was the Ron/Harry interaction about Quidditch. To me, it rang thin, like you *HAD* to do something. Admittedly, you did have to do something but... I dunno, I can't come up with much of anything better. Maybe an argument about chocolate frog cards?

Oh, Luna. Can we see more of her? Maybe in journal entries from Hermione where the two of them become friends or something? A little bit of Luna's obtuseness often adds a delicious flavor to stories...

Are we going to hear more about Umbridge?

Steve6 posted a comment on Saturday 17th November 2007 1:04pm

Another great chapter. Well done. I'm curious to see the scene where Harry/Evan shows up in Hogsmeade during a weekend pass for all the students and there Hermione goes and runs up to him, planting a big kiss on the lug. Levander steams over this and then tries to sick her boyfriend of the day on him, but X (whoever it is) decides he doesn't want to bust chops with a guy who looks like he could bust heads. That, and the surf board he's still carrying looks like it could hurt if he used it to knock someone upside the head.

Anyway, ignore my ramblings. I'm enjoying the story.

One off-the-subject question. Not sure if you addressed it anywhere else, but are you going to be writing any more chapters in the Wizards Fall storyline? I've read all the chapters twice so far (it certainly beats working at my job) and I think it would be great to see some more of that storyline as well as this one.

Keep up the great work both of you.

Steve

Rick D Gale posted a comment on Saturday 17th November 2007 12:56pm

Yet another great chapter from two of the best authors in HP fandom.

Love the story, love the pacing, love the fact that Sirius is getting 'serious' about someone - Now if we can just fix Remus up with someone.

Thank you on behalf of your millions and millions of fans you keep entertained with your great work.

I look forward to your next chapter.

Rick