Dale Dietzman posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 11:36am

Loved this Chapter like most everything you do.

Others have pointed out the timeline inconsistencies, which barely detract, as the characters are doing a fine job of carrying the story.

Like others have said, I hope you are not done with Wizard's Fall series yet. Each detailed section adds to the richness of the universe you have put together.

If it has finished, will you gift us with Wizard's Rise, like SoB/SoB, please, please (grovel, grovel)?????

anonmg1 posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 11:29am

Bob, Alyx, I thank you. I honestly couldn't think of a better birthday present(at least those in the form of fanfics) than an update to one of your stories. I know that it's really just a coincidence, but a gift's a gift. Unfortunately, it's about 10:30 and I just got home, so I won't be able to read it tonight, but you've given me one of the best possible bits of procrastination material for tomorrow (you're tied for first place with Assassin's Creed; congratulations). Well, I'm off to bed so I can get up early and get reading!

Deborahsu posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 11:23am

I loved the cat-hovering-over-the-pool bit! And that she was rescued, of course ... I'd make you a nice batch of donuts, but Alyx would bury me next, so ... sorry, Bob, but you're going to have to do without.

This character-driven thing is new for you--but you're doing it well, I think. These two are faltering more than I'd expect, but it's your story!

Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 11:15am

Great chapter. I like how things are moving along. I nearly expected Evan to storm Hogwarts to solve the attack and the Lavender problem, but that would have showed a lack of trust in Hermione's ability to take care of herself. She doesn't want or need a knight in shining armor to wrap her in bubble wrap and fight her battle for her.

Oops on the timeline:
Harry sent Hermione his transmitted message on June 17th.
They finally meet in bookspace on June 27th after he didn't return several of her messages.
Harry arrived at the Granger house on June 25th.

I think the bookspace thing should have been the 23rd or the 24th, or Harry's arrival should be later. This is why I don't specify dates very often in my own writing. It can get jumbled too easily.

Also:

"We heard about your marks as well, Harry. Ten out of ten, and very good grades at that," Emma said.

Harry should either correct her, or she shouldn't make the mistake in the first place. Harry received 8 out of 10.

and Harry's jaw fell open in shock The dress was perfect for

There should be a period to end the sentence after "shock".

---

Thank you both for writing. I look forward to any stories you post, no matter the subject or pairing. The writing you two produce together is excellent always {now that your writing skills have matured since your first works. I liked them, but I know your opinions.}.

Mike (MoA)
P.S. Just so you don't think I've gone normal *shudder* I thought I would forward some recipes in case you come across any more lemmings while writing this story. This is from an old D&D style site:
Cooking for the Uruk-hai (apparently a rather large and rather unpleasant variety of Orc).

Jizzle posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 11:08am

"But I know how to play quidditich." This now rivals "Hermione's a colonel" as my favorite line of yours.

I like how you've made your your McGonnagal likable but kept her clear cannon flaw of sometimes dismissing students when they come to her with important information.

Lust and obliviate potions? Eww.

I really love this story's Quibbler articles. Luna's my favorite character, and you definitely capture the quirkiness of her family's reporting.

Speaking of Luna, it was good to see her show up.

As for your complaints about reviews, I agree about spelling, but would you really rather receive no review than a "Great chapter. I'm looking forward to the next update" review? I mean, not everyone wants or is able to give an even sort of detailed critique, and isn't encouragement and support and important part of a reader's job?

Dracolych69 posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 11:00am

I like the human Harry and Hermione. Very interesting way of making him a 'shifter. Don't think I've seen it before. The Weasley's acting that way were rather natural for that type of society, too. Liked the critique of the British Wizard culture, too.

Magnificent the Destroyer Lord posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 10:48am

(In response to last part of rant)
Actually, it's great that you're trying to "farm" the relationship - too many fanfiction (regardless of site) seem to wind up with somebody in Harry's pants within 2/3 chapters with little to no explanation to show how it happened.

*eyes the hole* That wasn't enough to earn anyone's wrath, was it? *whistles innocently*

Until nex time (laughs manically as jumps out window)

M*T*D*L*

JaCee2u posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 10:25am

Bob & Alyx,

Excellent chapter, as usual. I do have a question, though.

Is it a coincidence that the Chairwoman of the Hogwarts Board of Governors has the same name as the mother of David Weber's main character? Is she short, blonde, almond shaped and colored eyes, and a mischief streak to make Fred & George proud?

Of course, I would love an explanation of how she jumped BACK 600 years, and how she explains that she comes from Beowulf. (grin)

There was a slight bit of confusion when you went from a journal entry on 15Jun96 to a bookspace meeting on 27Jun96, and then back to going through the doorway on 25Jun96. Somebody other than Generic Reader #6 needs whacked with the cat-o-nine-tails for that screw up.

Of course, if Alyx is willing and still has the leather bustier I'd volunteer....

As I said earlier, excellent chapter. Just what is expected from writers of your caliber.

Hoping to see more soon,
JaCee

jemknight posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 10:18am

Very much enjoying this. I appreciate the slow development of a relationship - it's so much more in character. I just don't see Harry suddenly falling for anyone. With his background, he'd need a lot of reassurance, and a lot of confidence in the person he was getting it from.

And I love the prank war Sirius finds himself in - he's found his true match!

JemKnight

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 10:11am

Thank you, Dorthy!

pfeil posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 10:09am

I'm enjoying it, and await further tales of "inappropriately placed hands", to quote Tim =)

jzysman posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 9:59am

Wow... I can honestly say that I am ashamed of myself that I haven't written a review yet... This is an excellent story, but I think you are mistaken in saying it is a departure for you. While some of your other stories have been more plot driven, your characters are what makes your work really shine. I will complete this review by simply saying that this story I wonderful and I have not yet read anything you have written that I didn't greatly enjoy. Thank you!

Ezra'eil posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 9:52am

This story seems to be going very well. I wonder, in the next few chapters are you going to be using the same format? 2-3 chapters for one year?

FenrisWolf posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 9:41am

An excellent chapter, one well worth the wait. I especially enjoyed the ongoing homage to the Honor Harrington universe by the inclusion of Honor's mother on the Board of Governors, but I do think her reaction to Umbridge's depredations was a little mild. Given her personality and protective attitude towards children, Alison should have eviscerated Delores as soon as the blood quills were revealed, verbally if not literally. Given her scalpel-sharp tongue in the original books, having her slicing up Delores's massive ego into quivering gobbets of Grindylow bait would've been a snap (and a lot of fun to write!)

Hopefully we'll get to see future guest appearances of the Harrington family, perhaps with a few six-legged, celery-stealing Kneazles along for the ride, if not in this tale then in another?

Hank Nusko posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 9:23am

Another great chapter. I was wondering though where the Emu went come to think of it, where are readers 1-5?

I am throughly enjoying the romantic development and given the backgrounds of the characters involved rather realistic. I am curious as to how old Moldyshorts is going to get out of Nagini. Oh, well I guess that will have to wait until the next chapter.

On another note, I have noticed that if you are a member of your Yahoo group and have daily digest selected sometimes you do not get all of the emails. I caught the middle of a thread about a tatoo, some leather and well let's not go down that road. Is anyone else experiencing this problem?

webdoc posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 9:02am

Another excellent chapter. I really appreciate the effort you are putting into making their relationship realistic.

And as usual, the disclaimer section is really cracking me up.

For the good work

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 9:01am

Very good chapter, thanks for sharing it with us.

Corgi posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 8:56am

I can't say what I enjoy reading more, your disclaimers or the actually stories themselves. I do find your stories enjoyable overall and I'm looking forward to the next installment of this one.

sunrisesunset posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 8:28am

I wasn't sure where this story was going from the first chapter, but it has really evolved since then. Thank you for being realistic - for giving a true, believable account of two teenagers in love.

You're doing better at releasing chapters when I've actually got the time to read them. I only missed studying for one test this time around (last time it was three ^^).

I can't wait to see what happens next. Keep it coming! And please don't kill the generic readers. They're cute, in a very stupid sort of way. Cuteness should be preserved. (Feel free to abuse them all you like, though)

xohorsegal752ox posted a comment on Friday 16th November 2007 7:59am

This story is great as are all your other.
Can't wait for the next chapter!!!


~L-Dawg<33