heathw posted a comment on Sunday 24th February 2008 9:43am for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

I have nothing but the utmost love and respect for you guys and your writing. I recognize Bob is writing this story but I am referring to your body of writing as a whole. So much of the fanfiction available to we, the avid readers of the world, has grammar and usage issues enough to terrify even the most brutalized of Sudanese Refugees. I will not even begin to address the overused and overworked plot points and plot devices running rampant out there in fandom—the very thought is more than enough to make the baby Jesus cry.

I also think you are a little hard on yourselves. I will not ask or beg you to post DA or SC on this site. The stories are out there and that is enough, but to say they are somehow "unworthy" of this site? The reviewers are hard enough on you without you being so hard on yourselves. Those are great stories and do not let anyone tell you otherwise, and for a first attempt they are perhaps even phenomenal. It’s only natural that you would find errors and wish that you had done certain things different with any story completed and posted. You know what they say about hindsight…

Up until recently I have been a staunch Harry/Ginny shipper, and used Sunrise/set to try and slowly overcome my affliction. I love your work and really hate Ron, in cannon and fandom. Sunrise/set was a great choice for me as the Ron bashing helped to allay some of my Harry/Hermione discomfiture. So, cheers and thanks. And look, it really did help; here I am reading another Harry/Hermione story.

So much for the bow down and kiss your feet section. Here is where I invoke my right as a reviewer to bitch, moan, and complain…or at least ask a question. And I bet up to this point you were just cooing over my stroking of your egos and smiling pleasantly in response to my singular wit. Well, that will teach ya to get so comfortable, won’t it! Of course I realize exercising my right may cause you to invoke your right to place a sharp dagger between my shoulder blades. May I at least request that you leave the tactical nuclear weapons at home?

The Gringott’s Question:
Since when does Gringott’s give a flying f-bomb about ministry law? "Sirius and Harry have worked things out so that they are doing this through the Pacific Rim Ministry, which doesn't have any anti-Squib/Muggle laws against inheritances." The corollary would seem to be had they attempted to make the appropriate arrangements in Britain they would find themselves against a legal brick wall. So are you saying that any legal or financial ramifications stemming from multiple homicide is no big deal ("goblins cared little about the Ministry proclamations about Sirius' guilt and were happy to accommodate them") but when it comes the ministry sticking its nose into patently financial matters, the matter of the Potter inheritance, Gringott’s stands up and takes notice? I find that difficult to swallow. I mean sure, I can see where the ministry would be notified for tax purposes if nothing else. I can certainly believe, within the context of your story, that any seat on the Wizengamot would certainly be revoked, but tossing out Harry’s inheritance entirely? In this and in your other stories Gringott’s and the goblins are a nation unto themselves and only do what suits them with little regard for what some ministry might have to say about it. The whole mess feels like a contradiction to me.
While I’m harping on the Gringott’s question I have a related aside. If in SOB the Gringott’s rail system actually resides in the eight and a halfth dimension on Planet X from outer space then why couldn’t poor Amhar and others retrieve their fortunes from any Gringott’s branch?

The Hermione Complaint:
I feel like your Hermione is more than a little immature and overwhelmingly self-centered when it comes to dealing with Harry. That, in and of itself, is not a problem. My problem is I do not see her making any appreciable changes to her behavior and Harry reacts to her behavior very rarely, if at all. Let me try to cite a few examples, specific and general. The first glaring bout of mistreatment comes when they get a little frisky in bookspace, and then she ignores him for days on end. Dear god, the kid was abused and neglected for the first 14 years of his life. Either he would become short tempered and abusive, himself, or he would be somewhat desperate in seeking love and attention, and quite meek and withdrawn when said love and attention is withheld. Clearly, your Harry falls into the second category. It is easy to believe Harry would forgive her instantly, as he did, but will she not alter her behavior at all? Later we see Harry teleport into Hogwarts and follow her into her room. Again, Hermione’s initial response is to be pissed off. Apparently Harry has to conform himself to her schedule, to her wants and needs, with no regards for his own. Harry is a powerful wizard with a powerful destiny, one which is wrought with life and death situations. It would not only be normal, but necessary for him to test limits of his powers and abilities, but also for him to charge forward in situations where danger and adversity are staring him in the face. Hermione’s responses when these situations arise are to express her anger and disappointment, harp upon his injuries, and glare at him. Only once did she seem to stop herself, the journal entry after the killing curse episode. But it seemed like her little revelation was forgotten as quickly as it was realized. I would think (I know, thinking like this is dangerous) at some point Harry would either lash out at her in some way or begin to withdraw into his own shell. One of the reasons this sticks out so much, at least for me, is Harry and Ginny had similar issues is DA/SC, but they finally came to a head and Ginny made a concerted effort to change he behavior, going so far as to learn Legilimency. I do not mean to suggest that Hermione is evil or is intentionally abusing Harry, however, it is difficult for me to accept that Harry can continue to heal from his past and allow for his relationship with Hermione to deepen under the current circumstances.

And finally a note to Alyx. Why not fillet Crys? Is there really that much difference in a minion and mignon? (Sorry…it’s pitiful I know, but I couldn’t help myself. ;) )

Hugs and Kisses,
Heath

madrymon posted a comment on Thursday 21st February 2008 6:43pm for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

Great story

mekareami posted a comment on Monday 18th February 2008 4:08pm for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

Just reread from the beginning so that I could truely appreciate the new chapters. Poor baby houseelf :( Still really enjoying your story. I eagerly await the next update and as always, thank you for writing :)

Puck1 posted a comment on Friday 15th February 2008 10:10am for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

Oh! Here's a shrieking Batarang!

Puck1 posted a comment on Friday 15th February 2008 10:09am for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

Nice work!! If you need any more llamas or nukes, let me know!

Wyes posted a comment on Thursday 14th February 2008 2:18pm for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

I love your stories (I've read the majority of them, and I'm not even a huge fan of HP, JKR's writing isn't really that great), but you need to update more often (though admittedly, I haven't worked on my last story in almost 6 months...). My one criticism is that your characters always seem to overcome their problems too easily.

Crys posted a comment on Wednesday 13th February 2008 10:25pm for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

Crys eyes the glowing brand nervously. "Er . . ."

Now nearing panic, Crys looks around for help. Bob is not-so-subtly backing away from Alyx, so he's not going to be useful. Leo, the 5 legged llama cheerfully bleated at the captive human.

Teddy, tied up next to our intrepid hero, says, "Hey, all I did was suggest they have some kinky sex to relieve stress. I wasn't crazy enough to volunteer to be Alyx's minion."

Nope, no help from that quarter.

Crys smiles nervously at Alyx. "Um, how about a non-branding version of marking minions? Matching shirts? Maybe even a tasteful tattoo if it's done by a licensed professional?

solicitor posted a comment on Tuesday 12th February 2008 5:12am for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

Another great chapter. Bob, I would like to have your permission to send the lovely Alyx 2.5 kilograms of refined anti-matter (the boorish anti-matter I save for certain public figures). I was sadden to discover that there be only 1 chapter to go in this wonderful tome. But I also realize that could mean that a different story may soon be in the works.

ranchbs posted a comment on Monday 11th February 2008 10:49pm for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

Hi There,
I'm a 50 yr old disable audiophile\bibliophile. I stummbled on to fan fiction and the HP version before ever reading Rowling's work. I have been amazed the the range and depth of writing abilities I have come across so far. This story is by far one of the best I have read yet. I enjoyed Sunrise\Sunset also. When are you going to publish your own work damn it? I want to read some. Please? Pretty Please? Sniff.
Tim

ladysavay posted a comment on Monday 11th February 2008 4:49pm for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

BRILLIANT! When can we expect to see more?

Savay

IamNotawriter posted a comment on Sunday 10th February 2008 3:07pm for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

Hard to say what I like most, the story, the disclaimers, or the AN's.
As for the DNA comment, at least they'd be literate and able to create a plot line. Far better than much of the Dreck I've seen while looking for stories.

P.S. Under duress, and on pain of being cut off, all disclaimers Re. the possible origins of out-of-canon characters will be taken at face value.

in-fanficauthors posted a comment on Saturday 9th February 2008 12:27pm for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

It seems like everyone is being a little too narrow-minded with respect to Harry being at Hogwarts. Sure, he cannot be in Evan's form for 10 hours straight, but he could possibly transform back while in Hermione's room/bed, and certainly he could disguise himself using muggle methods (most likely as some other random person, though with sufficient effort possibly like Evan).

Can they not stick some minor wards up inside the school at various point to at least tell them if anyone is slithering around?

Please continue.

Aelita posted a comment on Saturday 9th February 2008 11:58am for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

I love this story and I think you guys are doing a great job! Please update as soon as possible before I forget the storyline again! Thanks for such a great story! I LOVE IT!

P.S When do they find out Evan is Harry?

beauty0102 posted a comment on Saturday 9th February 2008 6:40am for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

yeah great chapter can't wait for more so please update again and soon.

Samantha posted a comment on Friday 8th February 2008 10:31am for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

I've been a little worried about reviewing given your violent tendencies towards reviewers who offend you however I really do have to say that I think this is the best story that you have done so far. In particular I find your characterisations to be very realistic and extremely believable in addition to being a refreshing change from the usual tired old fan fiction characters. Keep up the good work.

Patches posted a comment on Thursday 7th February 2008 8:01pm for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

This is really good. I love these really long chapters. It is harder to review them though. There is so much that happened. I think it is really great that Harry can be with his old friends and they haven't figured out who he really is. Things are moving right along. So Ginny and Neville are engaged. That is different. Arranged marriages but with consent of the arranged. That is good at least. I like the Quibbler articles. They make a fun diversion. The really sad thing is that some people will believe it because it is in print. Then someone will print the truth and People won't belive it! I am really sorry that the elf child was killed by Nagini. You can't blame the snake but you can blame Voldemort. She wouldn't even be there if it wasn't for him. Thanks for writing. I appreciate everything you add to this story. I like the end of the chapter. I know Harry want this to be over but somethings take more time than others. Thanks again, pms

Jizzle posted a comment on Thursday 7th February 2008 5:45am for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

Wow, talk about all tell and no show. Well, there was some show, but it was always immediately trampled by tell just in case we missed something. But besides the grating lack of anything resembling subtlety, it wasn't a bad chapter. This story has an interesting premise and focus. Happy writing.

Evelyna posted a comment on Thursday 7th February 2008 3:40am for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

Nice, like it!
greez
Gertrud

hjdevnull posted a comment on Wednesday 6th February 2008 11:37pm for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

Great update. I'm quite interested to see how things go with Nagini and Evan's reveal. You said there's only one chapter to go? I was a bit surprised, but then I realized that your chapters are really close to the size of novellas so it's not all that surprising. You can fit a lot in one of your chapters.

Any bunnies knocking on your doors for what comes next? Can't wait to see what you two mad literary scientists cook up next.

IssaBissa posted a comment on Wednesday 6th February 2008 12:52pm for Chapter 8 - Year Seven Fall

And of coarse we finish out another wonderful chapter from you brilliant writers!!!Keep up the marvelous work!!!! I always do enjoy getting to read updates from you!!!!!! I am looking forward to the next one!