Carol Layland posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 3:26am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

Hi to Bobmin, I will be more specific in this review but be fore I do let me introduce my self and my credentials. I am a retired High School English and History Teacher. I can if you wish submit my teacher's credential Number and state. Now! First, I love you disclaimers and author's notes. They are great fun to read. Second, I find that your writing is well planned and your outline must of necessity be massive as your work is most impressive. Third, Having given you much praise, I must say that your grammer has gotten much better but you still make very silly mistakes that your Beta Readers seem to miss on a regular basis. One very glaring one is the use of improper pronouns in a sentence. A case in point comes in this chapter's notes in the sentence "He'll be in the story & Harry and (HIM) will make up. No, NO. The phrase should be Harry and He will make up. To check the accuracy of something like leave out the modifying word or words thus. He'll be in the story. Eventually He will make up with Harry. You see??? If not check this out in an English Grammer Book. Carol

azrael3 posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 3:24am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

very good im looking forward to the chapter

jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 2:55am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

Outstanding chapter!!!! Is there even such a thing as the International Terrorist Retirement Fund???? Shouldn't it actually be the International Retarded Terrorist Retirement Fund???? Do keep up the outstanding work and update soon please!!!!:):):):)

Clell65619 posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 2:43am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

- I was glad to see you differentiate between mind magics and psi.

- the Muggle studies lesson plans date from 1902? Gee, there haven't been many advances since then have there?

- Good chapter, lots of fun. Thanks.

Michae1ange1o posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 2:37am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

Another great chapter for another magnificent story. I have yet to find a story written by you guys that I DONT like. You seem to add a zest into your stories that make them exiting while avoiding the cliche pitfalls. Well done.

Soooo.... question time.

what exactly did Ginny do to Ron that was so explosive? will the Ferret's mouth write a cheque that his magic couldn't cash? hope it will be covered in the next chapter as well as mucho Snape whooping.

Harry in a jump jet with Ginny on his knee, K.I.S.S.I.N.G

cheryse posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 2:22am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

I don't blame you for hating "update soon", that drives me crazy too. I really enjoyed this chapter and plan to read it again and again. I love that Harry calls Jean & Scott "Mom & Dad". I'm especially curious to see the benefits that Harry reaps from being marked by the dragon.

I'm also having trouble feeling sorry for Hermione and Ginny. They were quick to attack Ron, yet Luna (I'm assuming it was Luna) was the only one to write an editorial to defend Harry. They both seem to just be all talk and self pity so far. It doesn't really make me want to pull for a Harry/Ginny union.

a_wanderer posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 2:19am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

Your threats mean nothing to me, I'm likely already on their list! Living in muslim Africa for a few years will do that for you.

Good chapter, the story has developed considerable depth and complexity. Well done.

hedwig_edwiges posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 2:04am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

That was a great chapter. And I really liked K'nor. It's always interestingto see intelligent magical creatures being brought into the story. And Hagrid's attitude was great too. Usually he is portraited as a blind follower of Dumbledore and it gets old. It's good to see him treated a bit better. I notice how Umbridge as DADA teacher wasn't informed to Jean or comment at all. I think it means you're preparing a good scene between her and Harry, huh?

Hamilton Wrye posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 2:02am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

I'm just looking forward to the moment that Harry realizes that Umbridge is his DADA professor.

spud posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 1:49am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

woot!, Update Soon! or whenever you get to it :)

Mariposa posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 1:41am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

Hmm, did Hermione really leave her wand behind on the 10th without realizing it? I think it would have been a little better if she said something like "Yes I have it right..." patting her pocket and then her eyes go wide! It doesn't seem likely she'd forget it behind unless of course she meant to leave it behind.

I enjoyed this chapter so much! Thanks for updating. The dragon part was awesome and DD getting put in his place was brilliant! I can't wait to see what happens once the school year starts. I hope Harry doesn't have to put up with too much shit and I hope Snape has to put up with a lot.

Peter Clark posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 1:41am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

Giggles for the "Update soon!" - I always do love your author's notes (and your disclaimers!) as they are so much fun to read.

Much like the rest of your stories! Once again a brilliant chapter, and I look forward to how Jean teaches Muggle Studies:

"Hello children, today we are studying Muggle War. This is a nuclear bomb, and this is what it can do... makes a 'reducto' or 'avada kedavra' look quite tame, doesn't it?"

"A muggle version of Owls? Well, we do have this thing called the Internet."

"Flying at 100mph? Try a jump jet at 3,000mph."

So many options for funny scenes ^_^ Imagine a field trip to a nuclear testing range when Malfoy doesn't believe Mrs Summers!

EricThorsen posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 1:00am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

I've enjoyed the way that you are controlling the bleed over of the universes in this story. This story is definitely coming across as a Harry Potter story with the X-men world bleeding in. I also like the way you have written Jean Grey-Summers, and Harry's reaction to her. So far this is one of the better stories I've read recently. Keep up the good work.

silvanis posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 12:56am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

All in all this chap was pretty damn good. In my opinion a certin grease ball (hint hint) so get a visit from Logan. Other than that I really like the story and hope to see the next chapter soon.

DAUFahnder posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 12:53am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

Just for the record: Adolf Hitler, not Adolph Hitler. That monster was one of the worst, but his name at least should be right ;)

dic posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 12:51am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

sooo... how do I say it without sounding like a total nazi? well I'm just gonna put it straight out there and add a tentative "I'm really not a racist"... Adolph Hitler may have at some point in time existed, but has not had - to my knowledge - a particularly important part in history. Adolf Hitler on the other hand was indeed a prominent political figure around the time of world war II...
Just in the name of errorlessness, you know? ;-)

so, the chapter. first, the "kraken": it didn't really get what the specififc class of animal was, but I think (ancient) sea-dragon hits it pretty well.... and that guy was speaking in the language of the snakes. so... do only sea-dragons do that? or all dragons in general? or only the old, smart ones? cuz, you fourth year, trwizard, firt task, dragon... I can't imagine that the horntail was just screaming around, even though he had all the rigths to be pissed... in my opinion, he would have said something... an insult at least.. so why didn't harry hear it? I guess the most likely explanation would just be intelligence... anywho...
I look forward to seeing that part of the story evolving.. dragons and stuff, I mean...

but, sadly, I have to close now, because I have to work tomorrow and can't spend all that much time writing humongous reviews to you...
so: liked the chapter, see you when I see you...

or your new chapter, whichever happens first..

greetz from Berlin,
dic

hordac85 posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 12:44am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

Excellent.Keep it up.

Rob Clark posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 12:23am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

UPDATE SOON!

<Ducking> Just kidding! As usual great stuff. Just have to wonder what Minnie and Albie are thinking, not warning about the toad. Got to wonder if Harry will blow up the castle or just do a 180 back out the front door. :)

Actually, I'd love for Jean to get a blood sample from the toad and find out she's a mutant.
Of course technically I'd say all wizards are mutants, they are just a strain that tend to breed true.


Rob

BloodTalons posted a comment on Thursday 28th August 2008 12:12am for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

A most excellent update! Thank you both. I was so happy to see Jean's reaction to Snape and the subsequent announcement of his betrayal. PLEASE, PLEASE kill the bastard sometime in the future and his pet ferret too!

I am curious to see how Gryffindor tower residents react to Harry now. The reunion meeting between Harry, Hermione, and Ginny should be interesting while sleeping in the same room with Ron should be rather explosive.

Looking forward to this story's completion.

vl100butch posted a comment on Wednesday 27th August 2008 11:53pm for Chapter 04 - The Mutants are coming!

Jean versus Umbitch....that should be fun, but keep in mind with Fudge gone, Umbitch no longer has her sugar daddy in the MOM.....