Sunset Over Britain
The Oncoming Storm
By Bobmin
Reviews
draregerreip posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 10:54pm for The Oncoming Storm
Waow .... I just found out about your story yesterday... It made for a very very short night (and absolutely no work so far today) :)
One of the best ongoing work I am aware of... and I'm glad to see that I wasn't the only one that couldn't stomach reading HBP til the end (skimmed it actually)
As to your story, well what can I say, you write extremely well with very few typos or mispellings, a knack for flowing dialogs and great characterization ... the plot is excellent as well.
You make a great case for some very difficult hypothesis (Draco's goodness and Harry's acceptance of it, Ron and Molly treason, Harry's superpowers, Dumblebee's tunnel vision and manipulations, ...)
Only thing, not a complaint but a suggestion if I may. You give us an action packed novel but at some points it's a bit lacking in the descriptive. We are on such a frenetic pace that at some point we could use some more relaxed chapter with a bit longer scenes to vary the pace of the story, something like an eye in the raging storm.
Looks like this story will finish with a successful relocation in Irland... I just hope you'll be as profilic in giving us the next instalment with harry coming back and kicking Riddle's ass ... I wonder what we'll be your new title .... "A new sunrise"?
Thanks for giving us this fantastic story.
hyper_swain posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 3:21pm for The Oncoming Storm
i am loving your chapter lenghts. the story so far is excellent
Samantha posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 7:03am for The Oncoming Storm
Love it! I LOVE how Harry, the twins, and Hermione got rid of the Prophit and how Hermione told her father her views. I LOVE what Luna's jinxes did to Dumbledore! I HOPE the Board of Governor's DO SOMETHING about Dumbledore THIS time! He needs to be permentally removed from Hogwarts. Also, is it Ron at the end? Or is it someone completely off the wall and unsuspecting so that no one would think it was them?
Love ya,
Sam
Christopher Estep posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 6:18am for The Oncoming Storm
The girls (mostly Hermione and Luna) take command in this chapter, but the stage is set by Emma (Hermione's mum) at the Irish construction site. I am kind of curious as to what Lucius' reaction will be to the ambush at Cousin McNulty's house. Sounds like the twins had better intel than Harry (they knew about Zonko's also using that storage space that the DP owns and used the opportunity to take down a competitor). Dumbledore snoops into Luna's diary and is sure the spells she said she used are fake. Uh, Albus; they are NOT fake. They aren't physically harmful, but they are NOT fake. In short, Albus DUMBledore, you're *busted*. (The only thing that saves him is the Aurors kick the whole sorry mess to the Board of Governors instead.) Right at the end is the Dreaded Cliffy, in which one of the Nibbler moles reveals himself (likely Ron).
Mark posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 5:16am for The Oncoming Storm
Hmmm. The attack on the Daily Prophet and the Malfoys seem rather Voldy-ish, and far too cruel for Harry.
Other than that, great chappie! I love the idea of using the Chamber as Headquarters, and DD is getting his comeuppance for being evil, and everyone is finding out that LUna isn't as crazy as they thought!
Amy posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 3:08am for The Oncoming Storm
yeah great chapter please update again i'm sorry that fanfiction took down your story. I'm beauty0102 and been reading both your other stories and really like it and been reading this story seen i have found the other one.
Samantha posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 1:38am for The Oncoming Storm
While I've noticed you guys are pretty down on FF.net for what is a very good reason on your part I have to admit I am very pleased about the decision they made. Had it not been for the amount of discussion it caused in the fanfic communtity it might have been a while before I discovered your wonderful story.
Onto the review...
Too many AU stories turn into bizarre flights of fancy that bear so little resemblance to canon that they really have little need of a disclaimer. In my opinon those types of stories are an insult to JKR's work as they reject the world she has created. Your story is however, in my opinion, very complimentary to JKR's writing. You have kept the universe she created more or less intact in terms of magical spells, attitudes and beliefs etc. In changing the personalities of the main characters, what you have done is open up a new realm of possibilities that is entirely in keeping with the canon universe she has created. In certain ways this makes your story even more believable than many of the stories I have read that claim to be canon. In combining the elements of canon with these (dare I call them) new characters you have created a whole new universe that is a showcase to your abilities as writers. It is not often that one finds authors who understand the tenets of writing well enough to create a believable and entrancing story within the fanfic community and I would like to thank you both very much for sharing your talents with us. Call it AU all you want - in my opinion it is canon with a what-if and a bloody good read.
ankerbau2 posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 12:58am for The Oncoming Storm
Great Chapter!
Harry was a bit careless, I'm afraid. He turns his back to the door and he hasn't the Marauders Map.
Kathleen posted a comment on Tuesday 20th September 2005 11:59pm for The Oncoming Storm
Wow!! What a great story! I came across it the other day and just finished the last chapter you've got posted today. Keep up the good work!
(btw, I LOVE the inventive disclaimers.)
Julia posted a comment on Tuesday 20th September 2005 10:06am for The Oncoming Storm
cool story guys
i was ready 2 blow up the ff website wen i founds out sunset wasnt there, sigh... good thing u put it here. as 4 the porposal, for her next birthday, he could give her a neckless that is a timed portkey that will transport her to a sunset beach where harry has set up a nice picnic for them both, and in then he gives her a single red rose with the ringcase, he gets on 1 knee, opens the case and asks her 2 marry him. i dunno, that was a split second idea. e-mail me if u think u can do somethin with it of just nead plain different ideas
Greg posted a comment on Tuesday 20th September 2005 7:22am for The Oncoming Storm
Great Chapter! I liked how you had Hermione destroy that Zonko's building. That just cracked me up!! :-) Keep up the good work.
Matthew posted a comment on Monday 19th September 2005 10:41am for The Oncoming Storm
Woot! Another update!
I loved the punning references to old-crow... although you may want to explain them in the author notes so people who aren't familiar with him will know where to find his stuff.
Also, one old nagging plot question (sorry if I brought up something that has been answered before). Harry swapped Hermione's drugged pumpkin juice with Millicent Bulstrode's... did he know she had a role in making the potion or something? Why didn't he just banish it? I'm surprised making another female student molest Ron isn't considered to be a form of rape in itself (for her, Ron just got karma). It just seemed out of character, especially for Hermione to condone it, unless she had some role in the plot. (Besides being a no-good slytherin =).
Darrell posted a comment on Monday 19th September 2005 7:43am for The Oncoming Storm
o god please update how could you do this to us
(sobs horribly) but nice touch with Dumbledore LOL and i hope he finally gets his
Jack-A-Roe posted a comment on Monday 19th September 2005 7:24am for The Oncoming Storm
Well that was an interesting chapter. I loved them burning down Zonko's.
I would have Harry beat up Malfoy a little more, but that's me.
DD is getting sloppy. He should have been able to test for charms on the book.
Yes, recapping the story is definitely one of my pet peeves. Why would I read this story if I didn't know the backround already?
My second pet peeve is authors misspelling the characters names or places in the book. Sirius in not Serius or any variation. How does one misspell Fawkes?
Don't even get me started on horrible use of tenses...if Harry already did something you can't use present tense....sorry just venting.
Looking forward to 19.
Ben Russell-Gough posted a comment on Monday 19th September 2005 4:58am for The Oncoming Storm
Wow! What a cliffie with which to end the chapter? So who is it? Knee-jerk reactions aside, I would say that it is a 50-50 split on it being Ron or Snape. Ron because he has pretty obviously started tumbling down the slope to the Dark Side and Snape because I have a sneaking suspicion that he is the one who tried to kill Draco.
The rest of this chapter has some interesting elements of the wider story, with Harry's exile town taking shape and plans afoot to completely blockade a Voldemort-controlled UK on both magical and muggle levels.
The whole thing with Luna is hillarious, of course. Her defensive jinxes are wonderful. It is really in-character for the Dumbledore in this story that he would assume that, just because he hasn't heard of a jinx, that means it can't exist.
As it is, I don't think that he is fatally damaged by something as simple as sneaking a look at Luna's diary. He could just claim that he needed to make sure that she wasn't engaged in unspecified "illegal" activities (although even this would still be frowned on). However, given his loss of control over Harry, the number of murders in the school (and the imminent delivery to the Staff Room of an unconscious Dark Wizard or two) I don't think that he can avoid the imposition of a new High Inquisitor (probably Madam Bones) authorised to review and counter-sign on all of his decisions.
It is most likely that Harry will now decide to bring forward his evacuation. Hogwarts is quickly becoming such a focus of dark magic that the few benefits of remaining are almost all gone.
Wow! I just can't wait for more! This is probably the best HP fanfic I've ever read! Only "Lions of Gryffindor" by madscientist over on Portkey is a peer, in my humble opinion.
BenRG's Rating: 9/10
Riven posted a comment on Monday 19th September 2005 4:34am for The Oncoming Storm
another awsome chapter.
deffinetly an O+ for all the dumbledore bashing going on in this chap. however i must say that was a bad bad cliffie there at the end so im afaraid i must recamend that you be sent to the ministry for "reprogramming"
hopefully this way you will learn that cliffies are bad, also i will ask the house elves to remove your bedding in the hopes that you will spend more time writeing and less slaaping ;)
anywho, cant wait for the next chapter.
John
John Wilburn posted a comment on Monday 19th September 2005 12:26am for The Oncoming Storm
Dear Bob n Alyx,
Really enjoyed the story so far. I thought the tip of the hat to Old Crow was great.
Thanks
John
Holly posted a comment on Sunday 18th September 2005 11:33pm for The Oncoming Storm
I am thrilled that you posted a new chapter!!!
I'm completly hooked on this story! Can't wait for the next. Your doing an excellent job. Keep up the great work.
Muirnin Cocan posted a comment on Sunday 18th September 2005 11:04pm for The Oncoming Storm
Excellent chapter... I am so glad that Dumbledore got hit by what HE believed was NOT true... Luna's Jinx!
I was laughing so much at your 'Oh so subtle references' to Keith and Old Crow... your comments - I half expected you to have Keith say something about 'Family Matters' *grin*
I have now decided that you both are Jiminy Cricket and have become my conscience! You both make me feel extremely guilty for my lack of posting anything new! I promise that once I can get my darling Rose and Christopher up and well again I will be sure to start writing more often! Even if I have too many stories going at one time!
Great work... I adore this story... can't wait to see what else you have come up with...
As Always,
Muirnin - who will always believe in Shipping what is RIGHT over what is Easy...
Padfoot's Godchild posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 3:12am for The Oncoming Storm