By Bobmin
Reviews
Nyssa posted a comment on Saturday 9th June 2007 12:22pm
Loved the story
mythic77 posted a comment on Friday 8th June 2007 2:15am
Have enjoyed it so far, and I'm looking forward to the rest. I heartily agree with your attitude about withholding chapter updates until a certain number of reviews are received. In my own writing, I go so far as to never post the first installment until the story is complete, although I admit I haven't written that much fan fiction---just a few on HPFF. In any case, good job.
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 8:04am
This has been a great, fun read. Well, I'm off to the sequel.
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 6:43am
'lean on his cane' -- shouldn't that be staff?
A good question and better answer? If the ministry is so heavily warded, how does the Weasleys' clock detect Arthur at work? (I know, I know, that's just how magic works).
Nice ending thoughts of Hermione.
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 5:36am
Where was the chapter where the students attitude toward Harry changed? Those he's rescued might think he's a hero, but where did the student start expressing such thoughts, let alone accepting him as not dark?
'Computer confirms analysis' -- Wasn't it the computer that gave the alert? Perhaps it should be 'Computer analysis confirmed'?
'Professor Pussycat' -- great line for Dobby!
'the final two minutes of the football match' -- does soccer (football anywhere but the US) have a two-minute warning?
Cynthia1850 posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 5:22am
Excellent!
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 4:08am
I guess that answers the question as to whether Filius was going to be able to remove Dumbly's memory charm(s) and help Ron.
Good job with Harry's talk to Remus; you almost had me believing he was serious at first (I should've known better, considering your comments about HBP).
So another Killing Curse on Harry. Of course, he can't be dead, or the story would be over (and no sequel). Perhaps it was an illusion like with Draco.
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 3:19am
Oh, the Weasleys' fixing things in the British Museum is just too much. . . . and then stealing a whole ship -- just great.
Tonk and Remus eating out was just obvious. But I guess some stupidity is necessary (just as Super Harry doing very little).
The Underground Railroad part was excellent; the scene shifts worked well.
Very clever with the change in the Ron-potion incident. It was finessed well.
'finished his chapter' -- finished this chapter??
'Now, make a bunch of errors in the paragraph ' -- uh, there are already several errors in the paragraph.
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 2:04am
'if you think . . . you’ve got another thing coming' -- the saying is actually, you've got another think coming; I realize that, because of the similarity in sound, it has been corrupted in common parlance.
'I should have talked to about it first.' -- incomplete thought -- talked to whom?
So sad for Pomfey.
Too bady Harry didn't let the Giant drop on the Shrieking Shack (I know, bad idea; but funny; I can just see Snivellus crawling out of the wreckage; 'Potter, you ruined my potion; I know you did that on purpose . . .') -- but Snape's and Dumbly's absence is probably an indication they weren't home; unless they're just evil gits who'll stay hiding and let other people suffer.
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 12:56am
'The students names are being withheld pending notification of the Nott, Goyle, Crabbe, Parkinson and Goldstein families' Quite worthy of a Lovegood lunacy.
Is it proper to refer to a Scottish town as being on the Scottish border? I would've expected an English town to be on the Scottish border (it is San Diego or Tijuana that is on the Mexican border? and which is on the U.S. border?)
Yeah, I kind of was expecting Ron on the tower, but I wasn't particularly surprised -- now if it had been Snape, I would have been surprised. As for Ron, well, I'm thinking he gets it when Hogwarts falls, unless you're going to have an aboutface when he realizes the true color of Dumbledore -- almost anything is possible.
'petty an undeserving' -- petty and undeserving (spell check? beta?)
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Saturday 2nd June 2007 11:15pm
'care of Hogwarts' -- first time I've seen an owl addressed with other than a person's name?
Nice to see Dumbly get some -- even if only a little bit -- of what he deserves.
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Saturday 2nd June 2007 10:11pm
Nice one with Trelawney! How much is Dumbly going to interfere with Harry's plans now that he has some info? Well, I'll just go read on and see.
Cynthia1850 posted a comment on Saturday 2nd June 2007 10:14am
Damn but you both are good. I'm really scared and I don't live in England and I KNOW this is only a story. 8|
Monty54 posted a comment on Saturday 2nd June 2007 6:41am
I LOVE IT, GREAT STORY
Cynthia1850 posted a comment on Saturday 2nd June 2007 2:16am
Whoa right there...I'm sorry, I love this story to pieces but how can Hermione not trust Harry's love after their talk in the Room of Requirements? It seems like she is not as grown up as she thinks she is and I would think Harry would be heart broken after telling her how much she means to him and then she thinks he's wanting Luna? Trust is the basis of all relationships, how can you truly love someone with everything you have but not trust them...you can't. If I were Harry I would lock myself up in the COS and throw away the key. Okay, rant is over, I'm back to reading...stupid Hermione!
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 5:21am
Okay, I admit it. You got me. I was so focused on Arthur that I forgot about Percy. Maybe you didn't intend the surprise, but it worked anyway.
'graduated an immediately took' -- graduated and
You make an assumption in using the ministry's treatment of Sirius as an example as to that being typical government practice. Or is it rather an example of some sort of wizarding marital law? Even the U.S. Constitution has the suspension clause wherein Habeas Corpus (the legal proceeding to determine whether an imprisonment is legal) can be suspended in cases of rebellion or invasion. So Sirius' imprisonment need not indicate that the magical government is not patterned after the muggle. Just think of the internment of the Japanese during WWII. I'm not familiar enough with British law/history; but I'm sure similarities could be found. More disturbing is Sirius' being left after martial law would have been removed. Would someone summarily imprisoned after martial law be automatically released or tried after normal law had been reinstated? Perhaps they should be, but we've seen how corrupt and inefficient Wizarding government is (and Crouch was in charge of law enforcement matters then). But again just because things weren't handled according to law does not allow one to assume there is no law (Some might think of Bush here; sorry again for US examples). Okay, enough of a rant. I'm not saying you're wrong; just cautioning about unwarranted assumptions.
The prophecies; I seem to remember a Pet Peeve about relying too much on plot devices; certainly as well as you write (no sarcasm, that is sincere), you would be able to arrange things without people 'scratching their fuzzy little (should be ickle) heads'. Well off to the next chapter.
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 3:59am
'Two assistants, Kathy and Jean and' -- assistants, Kathy and Jean,
This just keeps getting better and better (d'oh, there I go again).
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 3:20am
'now days' - nowadays
'The birth then sprang aloft' - the bird
'wizarding version of Kevlar body armor' - didn't you say you weren't going to be doing such plot devices?
GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 1:19am
'The Brotherhood is coming down off the fence and they aren’t coming down on our side' -- Dumbledore doesn't realize that he hasn't said what he thinks he has. He's actually announced that he isn't on the side of the light. Muuwhahaha.
'in with less on' -- either 'in less' or 'with less on'
alright, you had my eyes tearing up over that little girl.
MadEye M!ke posted a comment on Monday 11th June 2007 6:00am