By Bobmin
Reviews
Delgarth posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd January 2006 4:30am
Bloody Brilliant.....
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd January 2006 2:56am
Starting to skip chapters I am. Must be the cliffhangers... Much enjoying, and fearful for the future. One nitpick and one pet peeve:
Nitpick:
In approximate order of power (such things vary on the individual, the extend of their holdings, the age of their title, their political connections, their military might, and to whom they owe fealty) a baron runs a barony, a viscount runs a county, a count runs a county, I'm not sure what exactly a marquis runs, if anything, a duke runs a duchy, and a king runs a kingdom. Only a king has "dom" in the name of the land they rule. Earl is British English for count, so an earl runs a county. God knows there's enough of them in Britain.
Pet Peeve:
Apostrophes. Granger's means belonging to a Granger. Grangers means multiple Grangers. Grangers' means belonging to multiple Grangers. Its and it's are not interchangeable. This is a lesson that I have had pounded into me since I first truly began to write original stories in fifth grade (by way of comparison I'm now in the midst of a quartet I hope to get published within a couple of years, preferably by Baen if they'll have me). I have been conditioned; I must stop this heinous practice when I see it.
EricThorsen posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd January 2006 1:53am
interesting idea... wonder how this will turn out.
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 2nd January 2006 11:39pm
"To the person who asked to use our t-shirt sayings to place on real t-shirts to sell, we wouldn’t advise it. It’s not that we mind so much as the fact that, unless you’re just DYING to meet JKR’s lawyers, it really isn’t such a good idea."
Which is why I suggested selling the ideas to the trademark owners instead. Of course, this presupposes that they'd actually be interested...
Also from your author notes, I'm going to have to go back and read previous reviews; why would anyone think "time of the bull" meant New Years?
Looking forward to reading lucky thirteen next, and in the meantime (in other words, until I click the "next" link) very much enjoying this version of Harry in charge. Unlike many authors, you didn't suddenly make him a general; he's asking others for help without which he sees no way to do what he needs to do, which is much more in character for him. Regardless of your non-canon posturing, I've noticed that everything you've done here is spot-on with the originals characterization-wise, and those things that some might think aren't are simply the results of treacherous minds pretending to be something they aren't (like Ron and Dumbledore). Gotta love it.
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 2nd January 2006 3:48pm
Whoops, sorry, silly me. Kidney, not spleen. That's all right, then, she can still use the other one.
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 2nd January 2006 3:47pm
I'm afraid I got too caught up in the story to review the last chapter, but my laughter upon seeing the ingredients for Lily's sobering potion was enough interruption to get me over to the review box. That's umm... Quite a tribute to other fanfic authors. However, I'd appreciate it if you could return Abraxan's spleen, as she's promised the next chapter of "Time of Destiny" by tomorrow, and I'm fairly sure she needs her spleen to stay conscious long enough to post.
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 2nd January 2006 11:18am
I'm sorry, I love this story, I really do, and I've noticed very few mistakes (and I'm quite a nitpicker, so if I've noticed few it means there _are_ few), but I'm afraid you've hit on one of _my_ pet peeves: misuse of the words horizontal, vertical, perpendicular, and parallel. Horizontal and vertical are definite positions, not relative. Something cannot be horizontal or vertical _to_ something; they simply are horizontal or vertical. Outside of certain alternate dimensions and zero g situations, if something is horizontal, it is _parallel to_ the floor and _perpendicular to_ the wall; if something is vertical, it is _perpendicular to_ the floor and _parallel to_ the wall. The thumb, therefore begins parallel to the floor, in a horizontal position. Sorry, to sound belligerent, but it's a mistake I see all too often in fanfics, and even occasionally in professional works, and like some of the pet peeves you've listed it annoys the hell out of me.
Onto more pleasant topics, I am still adoring you both for your writing, and for what I understand to be your writing speed. I've just realized that even at the rate I'm reading I can probably look forward to chapter 5 of Sunrise over Britain by the time I get that far. I'm wondering how the students will react to Ron's hearing and the legal proceedings against Dumbledore when those happen, but of course that's something to be answered by the story, not in response to a review that you might not even have finished reading since the beginning was probably just a tad offensive. Sorry, I'm blunt like that. Anyways, keep up the tee shirts!
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 2nd January 2006 10:13am
"If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might"
Sorry, couldn't help the reference.
Hee, I love naming chapters. Right now I'm writing a sci-fi that takes place millennia in the future, but the chapter titles are all classic song and poem titles. The incongruity is fun.
Also thinking that the online sobriety test is quite appropriate, seeing as New Years is just past. Luckily all I had to drink was a rather small mimosa and a smaller poinsetta, so I passed with flying colors (speaking of which, how's about "Flying Colors" as a theme song for the canon R/H relationship?)
Finally, aside from complimenting you on the chapter, I once again find a shirt I must own. Really, I think you could sell designs to AOL/Time Warner Books for merchandising.
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 2nd January 2006 9:04am
Loved the chapter, but I'm afraid that I'm still so sleepy that the only detail you'll get is that Ron getting kicked in the nuts is getting a bit repetetive - and I still smile every time. And I've got to wonder just how much Dumbledore has been blinded by being too used to always getting his way; "Ah well, at least this will convince him that staying inside the castle is his best course of action if he wishes to remain safe." Harry being attacked inside Hogwarts will convince Harry that he is safest in Hogwarts? Is he really that stupid? Please note this question is rhetorical, as I figure on getting it answered in later chapters; just felt it had to be said. Also needing saying, I'm looking forward to reading "Thievery, Surprises, and Noodles." A chapter with a title like that just has to be good.
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 2nd January 2006 3:26am
Another great chapter! "Who peed in Voldemort's gene pool?" Another shirt I need to own! It'll go right next to "I'm confused. Wait, maybe I'm not..."
"Yous call me, Miss?" Oh dear, now I'm thinking of Star Wars crossovers. Dobby as Jar Jar? Absolutely frightening!
Snape in a thong... and you were complaining about Dumbledore's schwartz? It's made a little better by thinking of Alan Rickman, but not much. And I just can't seem to turn it into my fiancee.
"Occasionally we’ll use arrows for the really confused readers." Are you familiar with Arlo Guthrie's work? "...the twenty-seven eight-by-ten color glossy photographs with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us." Yes, all from memory, and I don't think I got a single word wrong. Yay me, now what other useless skills do I have?
I must say, though that your pet peeve here doesn't quite mesh with your story Parallels. I suppose you could say he's not QUITE geared to the hilt ("Get a dose of her in jack boots and kilt; she's killer diller when she's dressed to the hilt." sorry, Beetles moment), but the staff, sword, orb, and dragon leather are pretty impressive even without his powers. Besides, Super and Equipped Harry makes for some remarkably funny spamfics.
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 2nd January 2006 2:34am
And now to make me feel more like an idiot, I just noticed Renee's review about Dan and Emma. You know, I thought there was something familiar about those names, but there was absolutely nothing in my mind but "Did some other fanfic authors use those names?" One and a half words: D'oh!
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 2nd January 2006 2:31am
Your friendly neighborhood Tildessmoo here, once more showing appreciation for a chapter of SOB. That's pronounced teel-deh-sh-SMOH-ah, by the way (can't get all the accented characters to show up here). I'm wondering if you can contact Abraxan about getting some of Harry's t-shirts made up? I'd certainly buy a "Potter 5-Voldemort 0" shirt! I'm afraid I'm not taking in enough specific details to comment much more about the chapter itself, but for the authors notes.
For one thing, ship all you want; it's your story, and if you can make it good then as a reader I don't care if you do Draco/Harry. Actually I did manage to find a good one of those once, though I don't recall where it was and it was rather before I stayed up till four in the morning selling a certain blue book and picking up cookie crumbs and empty coffee cups, so I don't like my chances of finding it again... Heck, I'm an avid H/C shipper and I like your story. Hear that H/H haters? Even a crewmember on the HMS Celebrity can like Hermione, so lay off! And I'd love to see if Dumbledore has a Schwartz ring, though if we're making LotR comparisons instead, I'd think of him as Dumbledore the White in this story. And Peter can play Grima, and Harry would make a perfect Frodo! Though I think Voldemort reminds me more of the Witch King of Angband than Sauron. Maybe Gindlewald can be Sauron. In order to have Sam we'd need a canon Ron rather than yours... Or maybe he could be Aragorn? That's the only way I can think of to fit Hermione in, as either Arwen or Eowyn. But wait! Snape's the only one greasy enough to be Grima Wormtongue! And his association with Dumbledore (as Dumbledore the White) fits in with that whole Sharky thing at the end of the books...
And wow, I just wasted a whole lot of review space with HP/LotR crossover contemplation that will never be used. Now I feel like an idiot. And I'm not deleting it. Which makes me feel more like an idiot. Time to have a nice lie-down now. Or read the next chapter.
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 2nd January 2006 1:21am
Another amazing installment, and I hope you aren't overwhelmed by reviews every chapter, 'cause I think you deserve them if you like them. If not, of course, just tell me to piss off and I will. Looking forward greatly to reading chapter three, not looking forward so much to reading chapter four of Sunrise seeing as how that'll mean I'm done with what's been written so far and I'll have to wait like all your other reviewers did for what I'm reading now... Still, 29 chapters of this length should last me a while I think. I shall continue to call this the LotR of HP fanfics!
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 2nd January 2006 12:27am
I do believe I have not been disappointed from my earlier expectations. The Powerful Harry has been done before, but only because it is such a wonderful addition to so many plots, and yours is among the most interesting methods I have yet seen. As for Dumbledore, I'm used to seeing him be manipulative in fanfics (and my own mind; Harry's relationship with him in HBP actually surprised me), but this goes beyond the pale. Which is a good thing - stretching the "reality" of canon in amazing ways, and while I know you don't like people to compare fanfics with canon, I must say that this actually seems quite compatible with JKR's work up through OotP, and as well written as hers, as well.
I must say that Ron took me by surprise, and I'm not sure where to fall with the Weasley parents (I suppose later chapters will tell me whether they were using Harry or helping him anyway and just taking advantage of the perks of doing so - if they were in enough trouble financially Molly and Arthur might be able to justify such things to themselves). Sorry for being so speculative in the first out of twenty-five-plus-four written chapters, but I tend to write as I think, so it comes out in a bit of a stream-of-consciousness style.
One thing I'll mention is, if you care about Brit-picking (which you may not, being an American writing predominantly for Americans (especially yourself; the best authors write for themselves first and foremost it seems)) is that the characters would probably be using the metric system, and Harry's temperature, therefore, would be measured in degrees Celsius. Thus, normal body temperature (98.6F) would be 37 degrees C,an average temperature of 101F would be 38.(3 repeating)C, a 105F fever would be 40.6C (technically, 40 point 5-repeating), and if it dropped to 99 degrees that would be 37.(2 repeating). Rounding off since my numbers are calculated, not read from a thermometer, of course. And, while I'm being annoyingly pedantic, the formula for conversion is C=F-32*(5/9) or degrees Celsius equals five ninths of thirty-two less than degrees Farenheit.
Sorry for the thermal measurements lesson; reading so much about Hermione in SOB and Parallels is bringing out the know-it-all in me, I guess.
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Sunday 1st January 2006 10:46pm
Okay, before I even begin reading, I've already got something to comment on. This is a frickin' book! Baen Books (whom I hope will be publishing my work within a year or so) generally accepts manuscripts of 100-130 thousand words; this is nearly three times their upper limit! Having seen how well you write in Parallels, and having read the description, I can't believe this will be anything less than epic, and I imagine if I can manage to get this printed and bound it will wind up on my shelf next to "To Green Angel Tower" by Tad Williams (paperback version printed in two volumes to keep it from falling apart)- and taking up even more space! And there's a sequel, too... The "Lord of the Rings" of fanfiction! Expect more reviews when I've actually read something to review!
ThunderGod posted a comment on Sunday 1st January 2006 10:11pm
I need a luagh and nice story to read..entertaining and enjoyable..which is proven when its still enjoyable on a 2nd read through
ThunderGod
ThunderGod posted a comment on Sunday 1st January 2006 9:41pm
So many stories come to mind when ever I read your Pet peeves..and since I've read it the first time, I now look for those things and then ignore the fic..unless its great...:}
Now for something really silly...and on the DR Dolittle them..and I wonder if anyone would use it..The Giant Moon Moth:}..I remember reading the original books way back when I was a kid..30 years ago...
Got A extra silly Animagus for you..Godzilla!!!
WEll back again to reading...
ThunderGod
ThunderGod posted a comment on Sunday 1st January 2006 8:08pm
rereading this chapter again...it still hits me hard that you Killed off Poppy ...murderers ...phillistines....how could you...
a pointless death...
ThunderGod
ThunderGod posted a comment on Sunday 1st January 2006 6:25pm
damn it..eveb after rereading this chapter..I still don't get what the peeve is:{
prolly was on your group...and its way too late to do anything..oh well
anyway..enjoyinmg myself rereading it..
back to it
ThunderGod
freakyfinger posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd January 2006 5:25am