By Bobmin
Reviews
Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Friday 23rd June 2006 10:21pm
Why didn't they leave Harry's boxers on? Otherwise wonderful beginning. Poor Harry, but I liked Hermione's description. Is everyone actually evil or is there something else going on? Loved the name Padfoot Manor. Great beginning.
lolig posted a comment on Tuesday 20th June 2006 4:03am
xx
Athena Lupin posted a comment on Monday 19th June 2006 5:24am
I love this sooo much. I've read it a billion times. But the Notes crack me up and the Disclaimers. Thank You, and I sware Bob at least could make it on Comedy Central
lovemoonyforever posted a comment on Sunday 18th June 2006 4:20am
This was a fantastic story! I can't say everything I enjoyed, that would be to much, but I liked Emma and Dan very much (and their great names:)
Sterling posted a comment on Thursday 15th June 2006 3:12am
This was a very enjoyable read. There are points here and there where I didn't like how you handled things. But in the end it was a well done story and quite entertaining. Thanks.
Ailishmckechnie posted a comment on Wednesday 14th June 2006 11:21pm
I have read your story more then twice and minus the whole military parts which confused the hell out of me, its the best written story I have ever read. And i have read quite a lot. I DO SO HOPE The the sequel will be just as good. Please keep up the great work and effort.
Ailish McKechnie.
Sterling posted a comment on Wednesday 14th June 2006 1:56am
This story has been quite entertaining. I'm still not all that thrilled with how you've treated Ron and Molly in this story but it's not that big of a deal. However, I think your goal of creating a "believable" Harry and Hermione romance is in fact hampered by the way you've slaughtered Ron's and Molly's characters.
Sterling posted a comment on Sunday 11th June 2006 6:55pm
I really don't like how you are portraying Ron. But other then that this chappie has been quite entertaining.
Bobmin356 replied:
If you don't like how Ron is portrayed at this point, you better stop reading now because it's not going to get any better and will get a lot worse. :)
Sterling posted a comment on Sunday 11th June 2006 1:53pm
OK...Now that you have given some sort of explanation as to some of the character's actions it makes it a bit easier to swallow. The idea that Ron and Molly Weasley were Dumbledore plants is an interesting one. It sits uneasy with me because I really think it goes against their grain as far a their characters go though. Now before you go on about the whole "This is an AU story and you are being a canon-nazi" thing, I just want to say that I think AU is fine. However, certain characters in the HP universe are well developed. We, as readers, expect them to act within certain parameters and when they start acting outside of what we know of them it starts to destroy the believability of the story. While I can believe Dumbledore being manipulative and misguided I still am finding it hard to deal with Ron and Molly as you have been writing them. Still, this second chapter was a definite improvement on the first one and I do think you are doing a decent job writing, other then my mentioned beefs with characterizations.
Sterling posted a comment on Sunday 11th June 2006 7:42am
This is decently written but I have some problems with some of your premises...One, that Remus would go to the Granger's for help. He may trust Hermione but going to a pair of muggle dentists to help with a wizard's health? Two, you are caricaturizing Ron. He has his problems but he isn't nearly as bad as you are making him out to be. It IS possible to have a H/Hr story without Ron being made into a villain or killed off or something. Three, The ways you are having Molly Weasley and Dumbledore act is nearly ludicrous and totally out of character. Molly would never be interested in Harry's money and Dumbledore would never condone the use of potions on Hermione to keep her "under control". Later on you actually make Dumbledore seem as dark as Voldemort in some ways. I'll keep on reading just to see if you have any justifications for this bizzarre behaviour by your characters. But you are really stretching the bounds of believeability in this first chapter of yours. I don't mind AU's but dang it if the characters are warped to far from their roots there is no real reason to even write a fanfic. Just come up with your own characters and run with it.
Sir Chris posted a comment on Thursday 8th June 2006 1:58pm
It would appear we meet again on these winding roads known as fanfiction. You probably don't remember me, and it isn't a big deal. I go to FF.net and I am mostly a talentless hack in the field of serious fanfiction and stick to weird humor fanfiction to appeal to people. I followed your stories (this and the other two) for a long time on there and was a very big fan of both. However when yours and Quest of Light (a fanfiction that I beta'd for) were removed I lost interest in HP fanfiction because I was convinced that the HP community was soulless bastards.
And they are. At least on ff.net in general.
But enough about my winding road, I was linked to this site and decided to register, and boy am I glad I did. It has my favorite HP author (Ruskbyte) along with a host of other excellent fanfiction writers, yourselves included.
As for this chapter, I have read it before and it is most excellent. I just re-read it to get caught up with the story that I had forgotten a great deal about.
Excellent work as always; your pet peeves section delivers as always.
Until next time,
Chris
Pointer posted a comment on Tuesday 6th June 2006 11:24am
That's a heck of a story.
Pointer
skywalker64089 posted a comment on Sunday 4th June 2006 2:19pm
This story is a real page turner. Couldn't stop. Loved every minute of it.
S.
PS. The disclaimers...*snrk*
Pointer posted a comment on Sunday 4th June 2006 9:04am
"if you’re writing fan fic for reviews only, don’t bother writing."
Heh, I was always told authors write because they must, not because they wished. :)
Good start to an interesting story.
Pointer
the_elusive_snitch posted a comment on Sunday 4th June 2006 7:21am
I really like this story so far. You've portrayed
Ron as what I believe to be somewhat close to his actually character in the books. He's a prat... at times perfectly content to turn on Harry like all the rest; and at best he's a fawning sycophant. I like the H/Hr relationship. Based on the first five books it makes the most sense (don't know what JKR was thinking or if she even was when she wrote book six. know this story is already finished and the sequal is in progress while I'm reading but keep up the good work with your writing.
Casey Evers posted a comment on Friday 2nd June 2006 10:28am
Awesome story! This is my first review and now I can see why it is so hard to not critize the authors in these things! You both did an excellent job on this story
SpiderLily posted a comment on Wednesday 31st May 2006 11:06am
I hope Arthur does mend the fences with Harry. I've always liked him. Of course, I've always liked Molly, too, even though she was a bit of a mollycoddler. Have you ever noticed that? Makes me wonder if JKR named her Molly for a reason. Though now she's a bit of a... a... a... greedy monster with red hair? That might be a good way to describe her.
SpiderLily posted a comment on Wednesday 31st May 2006 6:09am
I just want to say that I love your Pet Peeves. They're hilarious! And yet very true... I hate stories like that.
jackattack posted a comment on Tuesday 30th May 2006 10:36pm
I'm up to "Of Death and Dismissal", and I'm enjoying the story overall, but I do have a couple of notes.
One, you or your betas need to review the use of apostrophes (that's one of my pet peeves).
Two, you are playing rather fast and loose with with the AK spell. Harry conjures a physical shield to stop it, but wouldn't that already be a known counter to the curse? If it was Harry's power level that did it, that needs to be clearer. The reactions of the pensieve viewers were very mild, to say the least.
Now, you have Weatherbee casting AK under the Imperious. Don't you have to harbor passionate hatred to get the Imperious to work? Percy doesn't hate Fudge at all, so how could he successfully cast a hate-powered spell? By your own writing, someone under the Imperious is barely aware of their own actions, so it is very difficult to believe that the spell itself changed Percy's feelings around to that extent.
Any other offensive spell would have been adequate to the situation, been entirely believable, AND reinforced your earlier points about spells being light or dark based on their use and intent. You've violated one of your own pet peeves by pulling something out of nowhere because you wanted it to be in your story.
smartypants posted a comment on Saturday 24th June 2006 11:17am