Mutant Storm
Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
By Bobmin
Reviews
Ebbie posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:42am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
Wow. I don't really quite know what to say except . . . more please?
This is going to be an interesting story and I will be anxiously awaiting the next chapter and the next and the next . . . well you get the idea.
I'm not sure where you get your ideas from but I haven't been disappointed yet.
Ebbie
Jizzle posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:35am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
Canon turned me against Harry/Ginny, but that makes it all the sweeter when there are fics that overcome the craptacular nature of canon Harry/Ginny and present the ship in an enjoyable way. I think you're off to a rocky start with that though, given the transparent "Only Ginny refrains from lying to him" thing. Seriously, that was dumb.
Also, what's with Ron and his attitude towards mutants. He doesn't believe they exist, and then he hates them a second later? That makes no sense.
Lastly, there's Harry's emotional roller coaster. Yeah, he's been abused, he's under tremendous stress, and he's just about 16, but it still feels like he's just all over the place. It's less of a roller coaster and more of a Nightcrawler just randomly bamfing around. At least, that's what it felt like. Add in some of the slightly cheesy dialog, and it felt like over the top melodrama. Maybe that's what you're going for?
I don't know, but I do know that if you were shooting for engrossing drama, you didn't get it. I didn't really feel for him at all. It was too over the top and in your face about how horrible his life was.
It's a cool crossover and not a half bad set up, but it still feels very "meh" to me, especially compared to your other efforts.
withfujkilp9087528nvhc posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:34am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
I was kindda hesitant about the X-men/Harry Potter mix up, and after I read this chapter, I think I love it. Seriously, it's not only well written you have my fav ships in this!!!
I do hope you update this soon!
mwinter posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:23am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
You know I almost turned away from this. Then I remembered you other epics. This was a very great beginning.
maanit posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:23am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
hey guys,
great new story!
like it very much.
how often will be the updates?
Sean Dillon posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:13am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
Ron's transition between --
"Mutants don't exist"
to
"Harry's a mutant? Kill him!" was rather abrupt.
I could see one or the other from a single person but not both -- at least not within the less than 5 minute timespan those few paragraphs would have covered.
I could see maybe Ron "Mutants -- ha. Don't make me laugh. Next thing you'll be telling me muggles have spaceships and walked on the moon!" with Dung "Mutant? Ran into a mutant once. No good, the whole lot of them. I say turn Potter over to either you-know-who or the dementors then find the rest and do them too."
sean
Clell65619 posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:13am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
- A most interesting start... I some how suspected a familial relationship to Redheaded Jean when I heard you were doing an X/HP cross... Very nice with making the distinction between psi and magic.
- this has potential. Thanks.
Donna Mobley posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:10am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
Totally exceeded any expectations I had, which is saying alot considering I've come to expect great things from you two! You don't disappoint!
I love your premise, I personally haven't seen anything like this in fanfic yet so you get A++ for originality.
I look forward to the next chapter.
Ruth Smith posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:08am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
I loved it, Nothing more really to say than Thanks and I'm looking forward to the next bit.
Ruth
sugarbear68 posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:05am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
WOO HOO! A new Bobmin story! (faves)
WOO HOO! A Harry / Ginny story! (faves)
WOO HOO! A HP / X-Men cross over! (not fave X-men, but still good)
All I can say is, bring on the goodness! WOO HOO! (And I don't usually leave reviews like this. They are usually much tamer and/or have constructive criticism.)
PerfesserN posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:04am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
Oh yeah, like it very much.
Tremendous potential here, a seamless joining of the mutant and magic.
He certainly wouldn't be the first mutant mage, remember the Scarlet Witch?
May I suggest cameo appearences by Wanda Maximoff and / or Billy Kaplan?
I await the next thrilling chapter with baited breath.
(Anyone got a mint? My breath smells like bait. . .)
N!
Eliew posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:04am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
Interesting start, and many points I like about your story, like how Jean is the twin to Lily, rather than Jean is Lily, and of how the Weasley twins was able to trust that Harry haven't turn evil even though they weren't able to witness the entire event between him and Petunia.
Personally I ship HP/HG, but I believe that as long as you guys do not bring Ron and Hermione together, it shouldn't be too bad, though, if you do, hopefully it will be convincing. But I think that is gonna be difficult, as making Ron worthy of Hermione is gonna will likely make him out of character. And with his current attitude, he is worst than better than Malfoy, just a hypocrite. Will be interesting to know what is going to be his fate. Died because of his bigotry and jealousy, or something worse? Though the latter would be nice.
From what I read, it sounds like Snape is evil in this story, more pro Voldie than pro Dumbly. Hopefully the truth of his deceit will come to light, and he can face the wrath of both a fully trained Harry and Jean together, well let that include Dumblydore as well, if he is still able to do anything to Snape.
The Harry in this story seem to be going to be a very powerful mutant, with so many different powers already manifesting. Phasing, teleportation and telepathy, and through these powers, invisibility and a form of telekinesis. Will there be more? Like being able to do what he threaten Duddie Dumpkins Diddikins with, squeezing his heart while it's still beating within that fat carass of his. Or will the rest be more like martial arts training from Logan, as well as some other skills. This Harry is also a little dark, having no qualms in getting others into trouble or injured, if they had somehow offended him, not that they don't deserve it.
As was pointed out by the Weasley twins, why did loyal and supportive Hermione suddenly become stupid and lie to Harry, I hope there will be a good explanation. Hopefully the relationship between my two favourite characters hasn'tgone so bad that pass the point of no return just because of this one incident.
Just curious as well is that how many other characters will be brought into the story, both mutants and magical. Will Luna and Neville make their appearance? What about Kitty Pryde and the younger students of the gifted school. Will there be other magical mutants as well?
Looking forward to the next chatper ^__^
FireRose posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:02am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
I've been looking forward to this story since I first heard about it, and the first chapter certainly didn't disappoint! I particularly enjoyed the interaction between Xavier and Dumbledore - I hope that we get to see more of it!
Kruste posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:01am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
I'm not a Fan of Xover's, but this is really good. I mean REALLY good. Can't Wait for the next chapter.
Is Harry gonna be somekind of Super!Harry? Like, the mightiest Mutant and Wizard ever?
Lint posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:00am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
I'll bite, it looks like it has potential. The only question I have is what mistake Ginny made, since she didn't show up in the chapter. Nice chapter, but the links to it were messed up and hard to navigate.
gadriam posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 1:55am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
Great cahpter, rite more!
Just kidding.
A very nice, and fairly believable merger. I default to adoring HP-Xmen crosses, but this one seems to deserve it. You haven't put much character into the X'es yet, but what I've seen is impressive. I, of course, would like you to rethink the ship, but you have proven time and time again that you, indeed, know best.
Have a Llama.
g
Kaerion posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 1:49am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
I'm not familiar enough with X-Men to want to leave any kind of substantive review yet, at least not before reading up on the setting, but I do want to let you know that I've read this, and that I'm liking what I've seen so far!
I've always felt that the one thing Harry needs, more than anything, is someone who cares for him, and who is willing to put him before anyone and anything else, so combining that plot-line with the high quality writing I've come to expect from you, this most definitely gives me the impression of being a great story that I'll love. You managed to show off your skills at subtle and ambiguous hinting too, with the small snippets of Snape's thoughts, that clearly show that he's not completely loyal to Dumbledore, but does nothing to suggest whether he's loyal to Voldemort, or just himself, so kudos on that, too! You've gotten my attention, and you've teased my curiosity, so I'll be looking forward to your next chapter!
Do you have any specific plans that you feel like sharing, on how often you'll be updating this story, or will that mostly depend on how long it takes your betas to get through your chapters?
artenry posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 1:43am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
Definitely an interesting story.
I've seen Harry Potter x X-Men crossovers done before, but nothing on this scale, and nothing as well written as this is.
I commend you two, and I look forward to seeing the next few chatpres.
ProfessorY91 posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 1:43am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences
Amazing. Simply amazing.
I have always lurked on fanfiction sites similar to this one, reading your stories here and what used to be on ff.net. Always after the fact. This is the first time I managed to catch the beginning of a story - an excellent beginning as well. I'm thrilled to be along for the ride.
The first chapter was well thought out, in terms of a believable, feasible sequence of events. What seems slightly off color is Harry's reactions to the situations/pressures that he was feeling. Expanding his rage, following the scene in Dumbledore's office at the end of 5th year, into a reversal of personality seems a little off, not terrible, just rushed. Notice that I am not trying to cling to canon, just saying that he seems to move from disbelief to distrust to disgust fairly quickly. I suppose it is necessary to get Harry's character where you want him to be.
Other than that, I must compliment you on an excellent merge of two different 'worlds'. Making Jean Harry's aunt was a stroke of brilliance, and the classic confrontation between Xavier and Dumbledore was a perfectly logical scene. Something tells me there is a lot more to the background that you gave us in this chapter.
I have a question which may be answered in the coming chapter or shortly thereafter. I am not overly familiar with the X-Men storyline, however, I want to ask if this is after Magneto was hit with the serum which resulted in the loss of his mutant powers. Essentially, is Magneto going to play a role in this story. If that's too broad of a question, then maybe a clarification of where the mutant world currently stands with regards to their own conflict.
I thank you for your brilliant work, and look forward to reading more of this story. An excellent start.
Professor Y. L. Crawford-Shaw
TeddyLupin posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd June 2008 2:47am for Chapter 01 - Aftermath and Consequences